I just sobbed, lying there in his bed in my underwear.
A. and I met on Halloween night, at his house party. He was in the corner playing DJ and I recognized him from my law class so I struck up a conversation. Granted he isn't that cute, I had always found him strangely attractive.We exchanged numbers and later that night we were texting while I was at another party. He offered to come pick me up and walk me home, and I took him up on it. We talked and talked and talked outside of my apartment building and around 4 am, I headed inside. We had really hit it off, and that Monday we already had a date set up at a local italian place. The conversation was great, we were both destined to be presidents of our greek organizations, and we really had a lot of the same general views on life. After President Obama was elected, we both participated in a huge street party and ended up sharing our first kiss. Things moved pretty fast, and we both fell very hard. (Or so I thought.) I was meeting all of his friends, we were spending large amounts of time together, we made plans for the summer for our birthdays, for Christmas. Everything was so perfect. He even told me he felt like he could fall in love with me. I could see it as a possibility as well.
Of course he asked me to be his date to his frat's formal in a couple of weeks. I bought a dress, started a crash diet, and got giddy. The night before we were to leave for the formal at the beach, there was a small party at his house. We were acting very coupley, and when he brought up becoming a couple again, I responded yes! As the night went on, I was referring to him as my boyfriend. We went to bed, and sealed the deal by having sex for the first time. The experience was less than...great. But I was falling so hard for him, that it was kind of ok. After we had sex, he claimed that he needed to go smoke a cigarette...after he had apparently "quit" a few weeks ago. "Why the hell do you need a cig right now?" "Don't worry about it, I'll be back" I knew instantly something was wrong, but I was just annoyed...not suspecting what was about to happen. After about 10 minutes he came back and asked him what was up. He tried to give me the run around..."well Alex and I were talking to day and now that I'm president I don't know how much time I will have anymore.." "Um, what the hell is that supposed to mean??" I was panicking. "This isn't going to work out." he replied. He seemed upset, and sorry about it. He said he didnt want to string me along, didn't want to end up hurting me worse in the end. I just sobbed, lying there in his bed in my underwear. I couldn't move, I could just ask WHY? How am I supposed to go to formal? What do I tell my friends and parents? He tried to comfort me, even crying some himself. I didn't sleep that night. I look back and do not understand why I continued lying there, why I didn't get up and go home. He begged me to go to his formal still with him. So i sucked it up, and put on a happy face the next morning. It was the longest car ride of my life. And every chance he got, he smoked two cigarettes. UGH. Finally, once we got to the beach, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt alone and when I tried to talk to him about the situation, he would say "this is not the time Rachel." How did I take that? So I drank. And drank. And drank. I tried to have fun, A. even danced with me and held my hand. I was hopeful. But as the night went on things got blurry. The last thing I remember is walking into our hotel room behind him and launching into a screaming match. "HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY? I F**** YOU LAST NIGHT! I WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!" All I remember was him saying sorry, then walking out. I called my sisters back at school and within three hours, they were at the beach ready to kick some ass. They took me home and put me to bed.
To this day I do not know why he really did that to me. Why he chose to hurt me like that then. There were no warning signs, nothing. It was only a short time but I know there was something there. I have not laid eyes on that bastard since that night...not by coincidence I don't think.