And So The Story Goes...
People can be cruel; but sometimes the situations we put ourselves in are much worse.
I had just ended one relationship and another popped up in its place. Maybe she just happened to be my year long rebound. I met Christina at work and confided to her how bad my relationship with my then girlfriend was becoming. Christina told me I deserved better and I should stand up for myself. Christina; along with my other friends were right. I did deserve better. A few weeks later I broke up with my girlfriend and the next night I met up with Christina. That was the night we first kissed. And so the story goes, this is how two lovers met.
We talked and talked about the music that moved us and we shared what movies scared us the most. Christina gave me the first mix-CD that had any girl had made for me. Finally I had met a girl who appreciated music that wasn't on the Billboard charts. We shared a common love of zombie and slasher movies. I remembered saying to myself I can’t possibly find somebody I have more in common with. How naïve of me of course, I was punch drunk in love.
I spent my fall semester driving to Upstate NY on the weekends to see my new love. I was happy to make the hour & fifteen-minute drive up to see her. I remember one particular day that we spent together. We were lying on a wooden dock on the Hudson River staring at the sky on a beautiful end of summer beginning of fall day. We held each other’s arms so firm that day.
And so the story goes, like the seasons we changed. Suddenly minor distractions were starting to interfere with our relationship. Ex boyfriends seemed to pop out of nowhere to talk to Christina. Weekends that I could not make the trip to NY, Christina found her way into bars. Of course this was no problem. There’s nothing wrong with a night out with friends. I soon found out that Christina was not one for telling drunken bar boys about her boy back home. Christina craved attention not only from me but also from any man that would give it to her.
One weekend while I was back at home Christina found herself out with friends again. This time Christine had taken her flirting too far. She had kissed another man at the bar. I never saw this coming from Christina, since she knew how much this same type of deceit affected me in my last relationship. From that day on our relationship was never the same. She could never even muster up the sincerity to sound sorry over the phone or in person. She blamed her cheating ways on too many drinks. I realized why should had become so cold and distance those coming weeks. She found it easier to cheat on me, than to sit down and tell me things weren’t working. It was stupid for me to take her back. I fooled myself into thinking things could work out. But the night she betrayed me never left my head. I eventually did take her back. People can be cruel; but sometimes the situations we put ourselves in are much worse.
After the cheating disaster the ex boyfriends and all the other men that were intrigued by her never stopped bothering me. One weekend my suspicion got the best of me and I looked at her txt msgs. Lets just say I saw enough. She had taken her flirting with her ex’s to an all new low. Her response to me looking at her msgs was that I was jerk and I should not be looking through her stuff. She was right in some aspects. But she wasn’t angry with me, she was angry that she was caught. We decided to take a break for the sake of our relationship and ourselves. During the break we didn’t see each other and we barely talked. I grew distant and angry. And my attempts to hang out were met by a cold shoulder. This same cold shoulder came from a person who believed we should still work on our relationships problems during the break. Of course once again I found myself discovering the flirting she was doing with her ex’s. This was the final straw for me. She still does not understand why I hold a certain ill will towards her. But maybe someday when somebody does the things she did to me to her.
I had replaced one bad ex girlfriend with another. I didn’t learned from any of the mistakes I had made the first time around and I paid for it. I paid for it with a sunken heart. Its funny how Christina used to tell me how bad my ex was treating me. Christina suddenly became the mirror image of the ex she talked so critically about. I still believe both girls don’t deserve the courtesy of me being their friends. Maybe one day…..