Because I'm easly swooned by sweet talkers, I believed him.
I was what the ever so popular cliche says, "Head over heels."
Oh, but how stupid was I to do so...
We were best friends from the day we were introduced. Best friends who told each other everything, someone whom I could confide in and trust.
Like my brother.
Everyone claimed we should have gone out from the day we met. We thought otherwise. The awkwardness would have been unbearable to withstand.
He had always had a "secret crush" on me. It was definitely no secret considering I knew about it. But I didn't exactly see him that in light, but I always thought about "What if..."
Days turned into weeks and into months. We lived our own lives, dating people and whatnot. Nevertheless, we always remained close.
But it suddenly occurred to me that, "I think I'm starting to fall for my best friend." I tried to reason myself from thinking away from such an absurd idea, but my feelings got the best of me when I finally admitted it to him. He spent some time contemplating whether or not it would work because he feared losing me as a close friend if anything happened.
Finally, he asked me, and we were together.
It was as though nothing had really changed. Except, we gained the honorary title of "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" but in my mind, he was "Best Friend" first.
Problems started to arise a month after. Arguments that I caused because of paranoia and jealousy. How could I help myself? I'm only human.
I tried to make it work by resolving our constant issue of arguing. The time and effort I spent I realize now were dumb and pointless.
We were drifting apart from each other, day by day. Communication was dead. And I wanted out.
After four months, he broke up with me. Ironic huh?
His reasoning? Three simple words.
See other people.
There was quite more to what he said to ease the break-up, and I believe every single word he said. He wanted to end on good terms; back to the way things were, as best friends.
Essentially after that happened, I was not sad. I felt totally fine. Maybe it was because I myself wanted out of the relationship also. And it wasn't like I would lose him as a friend because we were best friends afterall.
Weeks pass, and I finally found the real reason as to why he ended things.
Two simple words: Another girl.
To make matters worse, he had been talking and seeing that girl a month into our relationship. I found this out through very reliable sources who saw this actually happening.
To say the least, I was hurt. I felt betrayed. I questioned what I did wrong. How could my boyfriend do this to me? How could my BEST FRIEND lie to me? The guy that I trusted in so much. Lied. To. Me.
Depression kicked in once I found out. I was a wreck. Words just couldn't fully grasp the idea of how badly hurt I was.
I asked myself, "Why me? What did I do?"
I never thought this could actually happen to me. I thought this was only in movies and television that people could get so badly heartbroken because of a boyfriend.
But no, of course it happened to me.
I cried. I didn't eat. Lacked sleep. Couldn't concentrate. And I cried some more.
Time was the only thing that could heal me at this point. And it was only a matter of time also.
I have yet to speak with him to this day. That's because there's nothing to say. The damage has been done. Nothing could fix this. I even refuse to be called his "best friend" let alone a "friend." Forgiveness was totally out of the question.
I've become a stronger person through this experience. I've gained new perspectives, new insights, most of all, a feeling of inner strength that arose from inside me that I didn't know I had.