I don't know why I got so attached
He was pretty - and intelligent. He was also dating someone else. He could listen, and watch silently. He held my hand when I was too proud to ask. He knew how to wait for it. He waited, sleeping naked next to me for months before I let it happen. Before I could do it: and then I did. My legs and my heart opened for him. I loved it. He saved my life and taught me how to love again - or maybe for the first time.
But technically, I was still single. He probably knew I loved him - but I didn't want to be with him. I found others. I collected them on my new, tiny body like so many charms on a bracelet. We both still saw other people. The sex was still best with him.
I don't regret any of it. Maybe he does. Now I really do just want to be friends - why can't we just be friends?