Heaven sent, I don't think so.

I bet God had taken the day off and left someone else in charge.

It was a couple of days before Thanksgiving. I thought I had found a man that was sent from heaven as an answer to my prayers. He even said the same thing. I can bet the day I prayed that prayer, God had taken the day off and left someone else in charge. I met the man I would eventually marry outside my apartment. I was going to let my dog out, and before I realized it, she slipped out. He was across the street talking to someone else and called my dog over. I guess it was his way of meeting me. He came over and introduced himself to me. We had so much in common that I knew he was the one I had been searching for. I should have looked harder. He made his self at home and we fell into a comfortable relationship. His mom's birthday was the next day and I, of course, wanted to make a good impression. She was very thankful for the home made cake and frosting. His mom and I had a short talk when he had gone outside for a few minutes. She warned me off of him. In hind site, I should have listened. I thought she just didn't like me and was being protective of him. The next couple of days was great. We spent all our time together. When I went to my sisters for thanksgiving, He bowed out and I left him at my home alone-stupid me! It never occurred to me that he was using me. Kinda like not being able to see the forest for the trees thing. Christmas was nice. I cooked a big meal for the three of us, my daughter, myself and him. All was right with the world. He proposed to me a couple of days latter. We eloped to another state that had no waiting period and no blood tests. He had no job, no money or anything except some clothes. All that didn't stop me. When we got back to the house, he wanted to go tell his mom we had gotten married. Not we should go, but he had to. He took my car and wrecked it. I spent my wedding night alone. The next morning, I called a cab to go to work. Later that day the FBI came to my job asking about my car. I explained who had it the previous evening and it had gotten wreaked. The told me that my husband was a drug addict and dealer. They also said my car had been used to pass a forged twenty dollar bill at a local fast food place. I was floored. He begged my forgiveness and I thought it was a big mistake to hear him tell it. After that, things steadily got worse. A couple of months later, he "broke down" and said he had a drug problem. I being the person I am, put him in rehab. During this stressful time, I found out I was pregnant. Weekly trips sixty miles away to see him took it's toll. I ended up loosing the baby. When he got out, he promised to change. Well he did, his clothes, and that's about it. It wasn't long before he would take my car without asking several times and each time, it ended up in tow. It happened so often I became on first name basis with the police and all the towing places in town. He even left my daughter and I stranded at my brother-in-law's house after a family meal. After waiting for hours, My brother-in-law drove us home and I had to crawl in the window because he had my keys. He ended up pawning my car to a drug dealer for drugs. I found it and got it back but paid the man to be sure he wouldn't hold a grudge. After that, he ended up wrecking my car and leaving it in the middle of the highway. What the wreck didn't tear up, the police did by searching for drugs in it. The car was totaled. I got rides back and forth to work until I purchased a van. He found out where I had hid my keys and took it again. He returned it, but I slept with my keys after that. A couple of days before Christmas, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited. I just knew that a baby would change things. Well, it did. It made things worse. I had just told him I was pregnant. He acted excited. He said he had to go tell his mother and family. Again, not we need to, he needed to. I gave him the car keys-Stupid, I know, but I did. He came back about two-three in the morning. He went to the den and turned the tv up real loud. My daughter had to go to school the next morning so I asked him to turn it down. He told me if I wanted it cut down, I should just do it myself. I proceeded to go to the den and do just that. He came up behind me and grabbed me. He dragged me to the extra bed that was in there for him when he watched tv. He picked up a empty plate that was on the bed(I didn't even notice it) and told me he wanted all my money or he would break the plate over my head. I told him I didn't have any. He then picked up a knife and asked my if I still didn't have any. I repeated no, never dreaming he would take it any further. He did. He stabbed me fourteen times, two of which were deep in my abdomen. Then knife handle broke and he threw it down. He then picked up another one. I guess he had set up all his props before he went out to lure me into the room. He then attempted to slit my throat. Thank God for dull knives and the fact I had enough presence of mind to hold my chin down tight against my chest. I was begging for my life while telling my twelve year old daughter to get out of the house. She was standing at the door watching the whole thing. She was spellbound by what she saw. I finally got through to her and she ran and locked herself in the bath room. He then asked again about the money. I told him I had a little left and it was in the bedroom. He dragged me in there to get it. I guess I wasn't moving fast enough for him so he threaten me again with hitting me in the head with the plate he had in his hand. I was totally unaware he had even picked it up. After I had given him all I had, he left. As he pasted the bathroom, he told my daughter to go help me. I had her wait a few minutes to be sure he was gone and I sent her next door to get one of the neighbors and call 911. She did and I was taken to the hospital. I walked outside to the ambulance bleeding and to show my daughter I was fine and it was just a little scratch. Inside I was in such pain, I thought I would pass out. In the ER I suffered yet another blow to my dignity with a full exam, including rectal. My family was called with the "I told you so", looks but never said a word. He finally turned himself in. I went through Post traumatic stress episodes for a long time after that. The day we were to go to court, his lawyer plea bargained down and he was sent to prison. I guess he knew if I testified, he would get more. He wrote me several times after that. He never apologized or explained his actions that night. He later died in prison. I finally got closure for all I went through. I took my son to the funeral out of respect for his family. There, my son met his half brother and half sister. I didn't know he even had kids by two different women. My daughter didn't want to go. I understood her reasons. I knew he was on drugs the night he attacked me. I forgave him for that long ago. Forgetting is entirely different story. I still remember every moment of that night and what I went through. I think about it when I think I've found the "perfect man." I know not all men are sorry and as devious as my husband was. I know that one day I'll find that man. He may not be perfect, but next time, I'll get to know him WELL and not rush into anything. Who knows what tomorrow holds! One day at a time.


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