The Big Bang
Of course, he also adds in for good measure that heâ€™s baffled why girls like him - yeah, makes two of us now.
Nothing worse than being the original breakup-er and then turning yourself into the breakup-ee. Lately, every time I bang my head against the wall I remind myself that the subsequent pain on my skull is just as much my fault as the heartwrenching, nausea-inducing, weepy-eyed, frustrated and scared feeling I have daily. What a total a-hole I am for ever thinking my ex, the same guy I broke up with for rational and legitimate reasons (heâ€™s an irresponsible child with minimal ambition), should ever be the same person worthy of my total devotion and ultimate partner in the future. Why on earth did I have to go back, plead, and profess only to re-learn that heâ€™s just not man enough for me. Of course, this time the lesson came with a heavy dose of self-pity and self-loathing. Man, I wish there were friends, gifts, games, and cake at pity-parties. Ok, enough whining - hereâ€™s the juicie:
I went back to the guy swelling with purpose and faith in the idea that our reunion was a clear path to eternal happiness only to be treated like dirt in return. First it was his girlfriend who need to be disposed of. By sleeping with me, I figured the breakup was imminent. Not so. Then two weeks later when we slept together again I figured it was immediate. Again, not so. Still - the banging of my head continued and I went to drinks to hear â€œhis storyâ€. Only then, after buying him multiple drinks, do I learn that he â€œreally likes herâ€ and that heâ€™s just not able to make a decision. Of course, he also adds in for good measure that heâ€™s baffled why girls like him - yeah, makes two of us now. Big bang! Now, with the strings I let him attach to me frayed to the point of snapping, he emails me a Happy Valentines day email and says heâ€™s sorry he didnâ€™t call me when he said he would. Snap! Strings are cut and Iâ€™m off to dance through this miserable holiday solo convinced finally (and yes, again) that my ex is a child who will never make me happy.