He Juggles Hearts.

I know this must hurt but you need to breathe

Jeremy. Just his name sends metaphorically painful butterflies through my gut. I know how childish it is to remain so utterly entranced by his very being.... but what can I say, I'm a glutton for pain. It's a good thing too, because pain is all I hear in his name. Pain and the vague recollection of his tender words, now shrouded in a haze of bitterness and rage.
He was the closest I've ever had to a boyfriend, admittedly by choice. Having given up on relationships long ago I was taken by surprise by his similarly pessimistic history with girls. After that initial spark of interest, it was only a matter of time before we became infatuated with each other.
Looking back, I now realize how grossly obsessed I was with Jeremy. My mood depended upon his, and my life in general revolved around him. At the time nothing else mattered, and I quite literally waited upon his beckon call. I heard rumors about his infidelity, but always gave him the benefit of the doubt, just because i couldn't deal with the truth. It was around this time that my once perfect world came crashing down. I was talking to a good friend of mine when something she said nearly stopped my heart in it's tracks. "Deanna and Jeremy are so cute together, and they get closer everyday... I'm soooooooo jealous of their relationship" Thump thump, Thump thump, Thump thump. "Are you alright, it looks like you just saw a ghost or something..... oh no, it's him isn't it? Jeremy is the guy you've been talking about all this time?!" Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter. "Taylor I know this must hurt but you need to breathe" .....I release my breath, send my world spinning. This can't be happening. He loved me HE LOVED ME!! He wanted to spend forever with me in his arms! But no. It was all a lie. how could I be so naive? Never again, I promised myself. A promise that has yet to be broken.


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