I Was His Dirty Little Secret

The day I left was the day that he tried to rape me

He dated a friend I went to elementary school with. Told her he'd kill himself if she ever left him... should have listened to her when she said he was crazy.
We started dating and he seemed very protective and nice. I started hanging out with some different people and we grew apart quickly. We broke up and moved on (so I thought) to other people. I dated a guy for 4 years, he dated girls on and off. He was my rebound when I broke up with my long-term boyfriend.
We fooled around and hung out, but it was always really late at night. I never thought much about it. I never met any of his friends and no one knew about me... never thought too much about that either. We texted all the time and he always talked about wanting to hang out, but we rarely did. He controlled me so much, by having me hold on to that... maybe tomorrow mentality.
When we would hang out, it was all about sex. I didn't mind because I missed my boyfriend. He started to get very angry when I wanted to just hang out, no sex or fooling around, just movies and talking. Again, thought nothing of it.
Then, he started getting forceful with me, sometimes it was playful but other times, he seemed different. He wouldn't say a word while he was doing it to me or react to my reactions to it. It would be stupid things like, pushing me down on the couch when I wanted to leave, forcing me against a wall and getting in my face or forcefully kissing me (so hard that it would hurt) even when I asked him to stop and would push him away. I never thought anything of it and always shrugged it off as him just being "affectionate".
The day I left was the day that he tried to rape me. I haven't spoken to him since.


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