Hat Shopping

I let my libido suffer since he preferred to sleep beside me instead of sleep with me.

The end of the relationship is where this story begins

I've finally stopped crying every day for a month straight. I used to wake up in the middle of the night while he slept like a baby. I knew something was wrong, but sadly I let his charm win for quite some time. I let my libido suffer since he preferred to sleep beside me instead of sleep with me. I catered to his mood swings and was far too understanding. I had become what I hated.

Now the hard part: getting over him. Days go by. Nights are the hardest. I can't listen to music since the sound allows my thoughts to wander to him no matter what the subject. The usual.

I'm still what I hate.

I want to be with him. I crave making contact, but fight it. One day I open my CD player and there it is, my opportunity. He has left one his CDs at my place. I quickly email him while my level headed roommate who is also my closest confidant isn't home since I know she will disapprove. I claim I wouldn't want it to break in the mail, but she assures me that it won't when she gets home. CDs are mailed all the time. I begrudgingly oblige. A few days later contact is made.

Can I call you?

I am not ready, but I say yes since my heart is still leading. He calls and makes small talk. He asks me to go hat shopping. This request should sound idiotic to me, but I debate saying yes. My friend looks on and I reluctantly say no. He then proceeds in being himself and the light bulb finally turns on.

This is the end of us and it's for the better. Head is winning and I am starting to like myself again.


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