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“Now, we don’t have any reason to believe that Ross is dangerous-it seems like his only agenda is to disappear as quickly as possible- but if, for any reason, he contacts you, please promise that you will not jeopardize yourself by attempting to help him.” I mentally interrupted Officer Burban’s lecture thinking “Fat fucking chance”.
This would be our third time talking on the phone, the cop and me. He was the officer in charge of Ross’s case and had questioned me about things pertaining to his personality, our …

He was a good waiter — the kind you tip once for his kindness, twice for his discretion. I was a shy student — the kind that’s easily smitten, but quickly spooked. The corner table was mine; he made that clear. My table was his; he made that clear as well. I wasn’t old enough to drink, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t afford to order food, but he didn’t care. His coworkers shrugged. The whole thing was downright peculiar, they all agreed, but if he wanted to channel Nabakov, …

It isn't that I didn't love him. It isn't that I didn't want to make a life with him. It isn't that I didn't care. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't live with a man who objectifies women. I couldn't live with a man who felt like being able to date stripper after stripper after stripper somehow made him a man. Not just a man, but the man that all men wished they could be. Yeah, I couldn't do it. It isn't that I don't like Playboy. I just …
It isn't that I didn't love him. It isn't that I didn't want to make a life with him. It isn't that I didn't care. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't live with a man who objectifies women. I couldn't live with a man who felt like being able to date stripper after stripper after stripper somehow made him a man. Not just a man, but the man that all men wished they could be. Yeah, I couldn't do it. It isn't that I don't like Playboy. I just …

"I love you. I will always love you." I heard these words so often, I had started to believe them. Me, the girl who does not love, the girl who does not trust. Anyone. Ever. And then one day, it happened. He walked into my life. Swore he would never walk out. Ever. Everything I possessed, every thought, every feeling, went to him. Happy, in love, excited. All words used to describe me. All because of him. Who was I without him? Nothing. Who was I with him? A fool. …

After 20 years I divorced him and lost all the "we friends". There were no "my friends." He was angry at being left. He made up stories, that's what he does. Tell stories. Grains of truth become elaborate lies that he then believes are the Truth. I pay the price for his lies. Lawyers got half of my settlement, he got the rest of my life. I do not know where to start to rebuild at 50.

As the song bird who lives in a cage, my life has been till now. The bird in the golden cage sees not the bars, so intent on looking at life outside which lay beyond. Bars set around not of her own accord, but placed by the captor, appear invisible. As the singing wanes, a faint glimmer of the enclosure that surrounds her appears into view, until the captor distracts her into her song once more. Living so long in her cage, the dreamer forgets the …

He's going bald. I got gorgeous.

Our love will be forever. He said he'd never go after her i was the love of his life. I changed him. He never wants to be with no one else. We kissed right in front of her. The next Day he asked her out. I found out(11.9.07) he kissed me like if nothing had happen two days ago. He buys me a bear. Doesn't hold my hand in public. I play around why, you have a girlfriend? He stayed quite and with that silence he broke my heart. Hugged …

He always had something to tell me. Even when it was clear that he was in the other room with someone else he had to make up a lie saying she caused me to do it. i didn't want to. I was so stupid i believed you. Knowing it was a lie. You kissed me and told me I ran all the way over her to see you. Bullshit. All he wanted from me was sex. I was stupid enough to give it to him. After a year of not …

We both agreed to the delusional fix-it fantasy too soon after his wife left. We dragged four adolescents in our wake for four years of stubborness, disguised as commitment and hope. I finally found the courage to listen--really listen--to his complaints and I realized that he wasn't happy and I wasn't either. I saved us all by initiating the divorce and then it was pretty much Happily Even After once the severance pay arrived and our half of the "family" moved out. Love & Thanks to all who suffered and …
I loved him, and he didn't care.

No More

All was for you.
The good, the bad.
My friend, my love.

I never knew.
You never spoke.
Hidden feelings.

Our love is dead.
My fault
Not sure

Anger, self doubt, questions
How quickly we build walls of silence and fear.
Disguised by curtains of wine.

Monotony of years gone by.
Many faults I do have.
The Black and White.

Wasted years,
Wasted tears.
Our love is dead.

PeterVaillancourt©2009.

All was for you.
The good, the bad.
My friend, my love.

I never knew.
You never spoke.
Hidden feelings.

Our love is dead.
My fault
Not sure

Anger, self doubt, questions
How quickly we build walls of silence and fear.
Disguised by curtains of wine.

Monotony of years gone by.
Many faults I do have.
The Black and White.

Wasted years,
Wasted tears.
Our love is dead.


PeterVaillancourt©2009.

I blink, and you're gone. Everything I knew, everything I loved, gone before I knew you were leaving. One phone call, one phrase, one person shattered my world.
I'm still unsure how I got to this point.

Being born an Aquarius almost predestined me to become one of the leaders of tomorrow. Independently shaping my own future, calling my own bets, that's how I knew my life would always be until I met him. The guy who taught me everything about life, love, and happiness. This was …

I'll be good, never be bad
want you happy, never be sad
baby your all i have
you are the best part of my life
i see you and me living out a fantacy.

Cant believe what i seen, when i seen what you did to me.
Im settin you free. Stay outt my life and outta my memory.

Never forget my love for you
Always in my heart, not my life.

Ive never been so scared
ive never been so scared in my intire life
scared to love
scared to be hurt
but mostly scared how i could lose you

i dont mean to be scared
i want to belive you
when you say you would never hurt me
and that we will soon fall in love and stay there
i want to be fearless

but honey im scared
im scared about what people will think
about what they will say and more so
what they will do when …

Okay so im in the 8th grade and am 14 years old
ive already had my first kiss
my first drink
my first smoke
none of this im proud of
ive already watched kids get sent to jail
watched once inocent kids get pregnant.
this is the new generation,its sad
i find it sad
the names we give people,the things we say
are just plain sad and a disgrace to are generation
i can only wish that maybe we will see the light
and that things will go back to …
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