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No one has a better "ex-story" than I do. Believe me, I have seen, done, and dated it all. The thing that brings me to write something regarding this subject is no matter how we label those individuals whom we previously dated, they will always remain someone who has touched our hearts and left an imprint on our abilities to love. Now, I don't mean the one person you went on a few dates with and imagined yourself having kids with. I am talking about the love, in which you … Read more »
There is a moment in all failing relationships when you know things wonâ€™t last. For me, that moment was the donut-cheeseburger.
After two and a half years, I was slowly coming to accept that things were stalled. I wanted more, I wanted to change the past, I wanted things that were never going to happen. I wanted to drag things out as long as possible.
And then there was the BBQ.
BBQâ€™s in San Francisco are different. Owing to the cold and fog, many of our BBQs … Read more »
Have you ever seen those couples who look so unbelievably, so shockingly, so fuckingly sad? Not in the way that implies theyâ€™re unhappy or frustrated or even unfulfilled with one another. But more in that way that resembles a heavy mood dripping down the bothâ€”the jointedâ€”of them, from top to bottom, in to out. As if they are mourning the birth of the great true love they are right in the middle of. They are so close and so on, and so on, they just canâ€™t stand it anymore.
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Lesbians really like each other. They must because there are never more than two degrees between them. I would love to pay my Italian cousin to "take care" of my ex---just a little re-location situation. A girl can dream.
So what's a modern lesbian to do who lives in the Bay Area, or any area where packs of lesbians live, have L Word dinner parties, and go to the same two bars on every other Friday or second Thursday? Or who yearns for the yearly dyke march so we … Read more »
My ex-boyfriend and I had a dog together. I mean it was his; he had it for about 5 years before I came into the picture. When we broke up because he was not the monogamous type; I definitely did not take the key I still had to his house and I totally did not take the dog and move 500 miles away. I mean I would never do that. It also looked like the dog ran away. I mean the gate was open. So you must have left the … Read more »
My ex was the younger-by-minutes, less handsome, less athletic of two identical twins who had chosen, after years of grade and high school together, to attend the same liberal arts college. Thatâ€™s where I met him, mop-topped and fresh-faced, a sophomore member of the less popular of two all male a cappella groups at school.
I already had a boyfriend when I arrived on campus, but I was a freshman girl seduced by the a cappella â€œscene.â€ When my ex invited me to my first a cappella concert that … Read more »
I get to ER a lot. During my most recent trip to the emergency room (OK, OK, it does seem to be turning into a bad habit), I had a male nurse who asked my age and raved about how great I looked. You look 25, he said, which even in my bleary state was tough to believe. When he asked me to bare my breasts, I wondered why more men didnâ€™t go into nursing. For a cardiogram, he added, then circled my left breast with littlestickers.
On the … Read more »
I worked for an evil advertising agency. My last day there, I tied up all loose ends, left copious notes for the replacement that I trained, did my exit interview, turned in my badge and gun. Still, my asshole boss wanted a â€œcomplete debriefingâ€ on all projects. â€˜Sureâ€™ I said, â€˜just gotta go to the bankâ€“be right back.â€™ I never went back. My ex-cubicle mates said that Bossman checked to see if I came back about twenty times that day. If only I could watch the increasing realization on his … Read more »
My ex weighed 227 pounds and she was proud of it. In fact, everytime after we â€œdid the bump,â€ as she referred to it as, she would wink at me and comment on how a quarter pounder with cheese ALWAYS went well after sex. Especially if it was bad, which was often.
My exâ€™s last name was actually the name of this web-site, but thatâ€™s not important. What is important is that she got pregnant and then blamed on me, even though I would always pull out everytime wearing … Read more »
Man, so what do you guys want a guy to do when he leaves a girl heâ€™s not in love with and doesnâ€™t want to be with any more- who made him miserable for a long time even when he tried to be good to her- who endured verbal abuse and an unloving relationship because he found a great girl who was spirited, fun, trusting, loving, supportive and HAPPY? My ex- who I was with for about 6 years was all the opposite of the qualities I just mentioned above.
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I love boats. But I get seasick. In my excitement to experience boats, I often forget about the seasickness until Iâ€™m on deck, heading out to sea. Then my stomach begins to roil. I blame this nautical amnesia for the fix I found myself in many years ago taking a ferry from Bar Harbor, Maine to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. I was so queasy I had forgotten I was crossing a border into another country, and that meant a customs inspection. When we disembarked, an officer pulled me out of line … Read more »
I had a very serious boyfriend for two years. Then we broke up. Then a few months later we sort of got back together. On a trip to Paris a couple months later, I experienced the lethal combo of too many drinks, a dark club full of English speaking Europeans in their 20s, and a very hot Irishman whose travels to America only included Las Vegas. My ex-boyfriend and I, 3,000 miles apart, had yet to declare we were officially back together by then, so I didnâ€™t think of it … Read more »
I have loved Steven since we were both 16, over half my life. He was tan, dashing, barrel-chested like a 5â€™s movie star â€” even in high school â€” with this warm, Kennedy grin. I was a semi-goth, chain-smoking drama-geek, but our worlds intertwined when we were both cast in _A Midsummer Nightâ€™s Dream._
He played Lysanderâ€” the dashing, romantic lead. I played Mustardseed, also called Fairy #4. In the play, Lysander falls madly in love with Helena. In rehearsal, Steven fell madly in love with Jennifer Kaiser, who … Read more »
Even in the most platonic of relationships, it's common courtesy to throw each other the bone of mild flirtation now and then. A little wink or a nudge to say, "It's not going to happen in this lifetime, but we're a male and a female here, and in another reality, we'd be smoking hot."
I should have stayed away. I should have fled into the arms of the nearest fraternity brother the moment he mentioned his undying devotion to his girlfriend back home. Does anybody ever do that, especially … Read more »
I met my ex at a dog training class. It wasn't his dog. It was his older sister's and she left it locked in their mother's house for three days without food or water. She trashed the house and never came back. So his mom took the dog and he just came along to dog training class because he had nothing to do.
He told me he was manic depressive that first night he came over to smoke cigarettes out my apartment window. Turned out his sister, who … Read more »
My ex was a highly coveted coworker dating someone else at the time. We had a rushed affair one sloppy night in Manhattan and I bumped into her and her man the next day. And ran. She emailed me soon after, "Next time you plan on hightailing itâ€”don't wear a bright yellow coat."
She was like that. In your face. Soon she broke off with homeboy and I tried to step inâ€”taking her to my pothead uncle's third wedding and trying to get serious on the World Trade … Read more »
Nothing could top my finding out that a boyfriend of mine who was in Chile for a year had returned and did not contact me upon his arrival to the U.S. It had been a few months since his homecoming and I had learned he was back and actually enjoying a Celtics game at the old "Garden" in Boston.
I proceeded to throw back a couple (hundred) glasses of wine. After the liquid courage, I felt we should probably speak to one another right away. I hailed … Read more »
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