Cords that Bind

As I stood on the side of the highway after having been left by my now EX, who drove away in MY car, I seriously considered, at last, the actual fact that I, not he, was most definitely not all there. You know what I mean? My elevator just did not seem to go to the top. Something was wrong with me to continue to settle for his abuse. It was not love and it was not sex or money. So it had to be … Read more »

To the X

I had a day today, but it isn't much fun today. Two times two to say, and I ain't got the way. In the end, I dont have a day, two times two today. If I could, I would say two times two today. Thats all I can say two times two today. If you could be the way would you say I've got to say, two times two today. Where is the end today to the end of the day I want to say I ain't … Read more »

Milo

A lot of background history makes this complicated, although, it should seem very simple. I thought I was a Feminist. I thought I was independant and strong. Until I met him. I was forced to do things I never wanted. ANd I didn't even know it was possible, but I was one part of a long distance emotionally abusive relationship.

How's that for ridiculous?!

We dated for 2 months. Tried to stay friends (continuing the emotional abuse) for an extra 4.

He'd call me, screaming and degrading … Read more »

The Power of Song

I’ve always been fascinated in how hearing a certain song can bring out such a flood of emotions and memories in people. How that song can take you back to that specific time and place. Whenever I hear Prince’s “When Doves Cry”, I immediately think of swimming at the lake the summer before my eighth grade year. Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative” always takes me back to when I was a freshman in college, doing the “running man” at frat parties. And whenever I hear Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes”, I’m … Read more »

The Grocery "Shopper"

As I arranged the paper bags under the register, I heard a few groceries thump onto my conveyor belt. I stood up to meet eyes with that woman who had started coming in every day that I worked. The fluorescent light bouncing off the yellow shelves only accentuated how yellow her teeth were, but after she scribbled out a nervous check, she looked up at me as if I was more tempting than the half pound of potato salad she was paying for. No one had ever … Read more »

never again a smile

I was with my boyfriend for 1 year. It was one of the most amazing things that had ever happened to me. He was so sweet and kind and had such a way with words every time he wrote to me my heart would melt. He was truly everything to me. I loved he with every atom in my body and soul. I loved him more every time I saw him. Every time he spoke to me. Every time he held me to him or kissed me I felt my … Read more »

Decade

We dated a short time a decade ago. In spite of the rest of my life crumbling apart before me: business failing, unable to afford a place of my own, going back to waiting tables, thanks to her I had the time of my life.

Although we had only been dating a couple of months, we did what any lesbian couple would do: pack up the U-Haul and move me in to her place!

What a 30th birthday.

We did have … Read more »

Dust to Dust

Although I’ll never know for certain, my husband, Jim, was probably at his desk on 94th floor of 1 World Trade Center when the plane came crashing into his life, briefly, and into mine, permanently. On that day and for so many days after, I felt suspended in time. My past was gone and I couldn’t imagine a future.

First I surrendered to the grief. I stopped eating. Then I tried drinking but found that booze doesn’t mix with acid reflux. I considered drugs but hadn’t a clue as … Read more »

Happy Ending

Tired of being alone and feeling unloved, I searched for someone I thought would love me. Met a guy, tricked myself into thinking it was love. How naive I was. Over a year of cries, lies and emotional abuse before I finally told him fuck you, and I haven't looked back since.

The Invitation

The paper slowly turned black out of the small ball of orange. Every piece of the embossed, carefully calligraphied, 15-piece wedding invitation was reduced to 27,000 pieces of small embers as tears rolled down my cheeks. He wanted me to know that he was to start his life with another woman than me. I watched as the ashes swirled around the sink and eventually went down the drain. The ache in my heart was still there.

I Thee Run

One date led to another and we decided our future was together. The date for our union was set, and all plans complete. His unexplained absences replaced cordial conversation with arguments, then screaming matches. Then silence. Cancelled all plans, threw away invitations and packed his things. His truck was filled while no words were exchanged. He left the key on the table to the lock which had already been changed.

Hell is Other People Who Are Not You

"I think that wanting to be in committed relationships, that that was like a phase I went through, and now I'm through it, and I need to move on and do other things, new things."

This is what my boyfriend of one year said to me at three in the morning on a Monday, a work day. This is how and when he chose to inform me that "my boyfriend" was probably no longer an ideal descriptor for me to use in reference to him. Six hours earlier he … Read more »

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The worst scumbag on Earth

My ex was dumped by his long time suggar-daddy boyfriend (whom he had been cheating on a lot!!). First thing he does, after lots of sex, is going and tricking an old time girlfriend, whose known to be a bit naive, into getting together. They get married soon after and she gets pregnant. A month later, he receives a grant to study a few months in France and leaves his LatinAmerican hometown. Not much later he writes his wife saying that he's been gay his whole life, he has … Read more »

State Fair

It was better than the state fair. There was the roller coaster of emotions -- constantly up and down, making my stomach sick one minute, then making me throw my hands up in the air with delight the next. And there was the haunted house of old ghosts and skeletons in the closet. And there were the funhouse mirrors, making everything seem better than it was. And then there were the freak shows -- the world's tiniest woman, the half-grizzly man, the world's biggest pig -- and I was all … Read more »

Letter to my ex

Dear Freddie,


Do you remember much we loved each other? An old friend stopped to talk to me last night and conversed about how she could not believe we divorced. I can’t believe that it was 35 years ago and still people remember us as a couple. I suppose it was as much a shock to us as to all our friends. We were lucky to have shared such a passionate love.

I fell in love with you at first sight. … Read more »

Bastard

I gave my ex seventeen years of my young life, three beautiful children, always waited for him to come through the door and worked very hard to give him a nice clean home. My reward was a gift of alcoholism, abuse, hunger and lonely nights unless he wanted sex. I never felt that we made love. It was always too one sided. He came home to get clean clothes and give me orders. He barely patted the children on the head, let alone picked then up, hugged or bathed … Read more »

Bittersweet Latte

She left me for a married man; now his ex-wife and I are best friends. It's funny the way mutual hatred can bring people together.

Can we still be friends?

So ... glad to be back in Boston?

Yeah, I'm having a great time. Good to see all my old buddies. I was just telling them the story about the time I gave you a bloody nose on the trampoline.

Haha ... that's a great story. We should really get together before you leave. I miss you. How about that dinner you promised me?

[long text message pause]

I'm gonna be honest, I think that would be kinda difficult for me.

Better Man

We decided to spend a weekend away together to try to find a way we could continue to be together despite the big difference between us.

We spent the first two days hiking, playing monopoly and having our usual limited version of sex. In other words, we did everything to avoid the subject.

On Sunday afternoon we had the big discussion.

Now when I said "let's talk about this religion-thing" I meant I wanted to see if there was a way this … Read more »