I dated Andres from Torino, Italy out of boredom. He was cute enough, spoke very little English, and expected nothing of me. Really, according to my friend Tina, the perfect man, "...calm and dumb."
His three most outstanding traits both attracted and repulsed me; vacuum sealed jeans, overt public displays of fornication, and the ability to say the wrong thing.
The first time I took him home he became very excited. I walked over to see what had piqued his interest. Andres was standing over a framed photograph of my sister. Pointing at it he said, "She
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