My Ex

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I gave him my heart; he gave me agita. Could he have been conceived on my 11th birthday? According to Chinese astrology, we were both born under sign of the snake. A healer once said “that man” I was crying over was a relative in a past life, someone with whom I’d shared a heritage, perhaps a brother. Considering that in this life he’s an only child and I have a sister, maybe that’s why we couldn’t get it together. I used to be rational. Except possibly in matters of …

I had just ended one relationship and another popped up in its place. Maybe she just happened to be my year long rebound. I met Christina at work and confided to her how bad my relationship with my then girlfriend was becoming. Christina told me I deserved better and I should stand up for myself. Christina; along with my other friends were right. I did deserve better. A few weeks later I broke up with my girlfriend and the next night I met up with Christina. That was the night …

I met him, and he was perfect. Little did I know, he thought so, too. Like the clouds, he changed shape constantly. What started out looking like my knight in shining armor ended up being a monster that overtook my life. Through him, I learned how to hate with all my soul, I learned how it felt to be abused, I learned the pain of being cheated on, over and over again. I made him the center of my universe, and that is exactly what he expected out of me, …

It was August 2001, and she held this 3.5lb, brindle painted, ball of fur, on her lap. We had just picked up our new puppy. My wife and I, of all of 16 months new ourselves, decided that in place of children, we had time to love of a dog. And her new name was Bailey.

We found Bailey, on our first visit to California Pets in Orange County, CA, not too far from home. We made the initial calls and inquiries, in search of Shih …

Lesbians really like each other. They must because there are never more than two degrees between them. I would love to pay my Italian cousin to "take care" of my ex---just a little re-location situation. A girl can dream.

So what's a modern lesbian to do who lives in the Bay Area, or any area where packs of lesbians live, have L Word dinner parties, and go to the same two bars on every other Friday or second Thursday? Or who yearns for the yearly dyke march so we can have …

I was in dire straits. I was working construction and had to lug my tools up the hilly streets of San Francisco as fast as possible, which was rough given my condition (I had to take the biggest crap known to man). I was cruising past my van near my apartment when I noticed not only the street cleaning ticket, but a small package tucked under my windshield wiper. My heart just about hit the floor as I noticed the cutesy hand stamped writing that could only be from one …

I left Tucson because I was broke, and because the man I loved didn’t want to live with me. He wasn’t ready, he said. It didn’t feel right. We should be happier. He was right, of course, but that didn’t solve anything. I was still unemployed, recovering from an ear infection and a car accident. The relentless sun still seeped through the walls of my cottage, a mile from the road and surrounded by overgrown creosote. My idea of happiness was not to wake up everyday, hair grown out and …

I have loved Steven since we were both 16, over half my life. He was tan, dashing, barrel-chested like a 5’s movie star — even in high school — with this warm, Kennedy grin. I was a semi-goth, chain-smoking drama-geek, but our worlds intertwined when we were both cast in A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

He played Lysander— the dashing, romantic lead. I played Mustardseed, also called Fairy #4. In the play, Lysander falls madly in love with Helena. In rehearsal, Steven fell madly in love with Jennifer Kaiser, who played Helena …

Even in the most platonic of relationships, it's common courtesy to throw each other the bone of mild flirtation now and then. A little wink or a nudge to say, "It's not going to happen in this lifetime, but we're a male and a female here, and in another reality, we'd be smoking hot."

I should have stayed away. I should have fled into the arms of the nearest fraternity brother the moment he mentioned his undying devotion to his girlfriend back home. Does anybody ever do that, especially at 19, …

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