The Moment My Dad Left.

I've always lived in fear.Now I'm free.

When I was little I used to always seem to cry much more than other girls my age. I always knew the reason why, but I refused to believe it. Every time I would lie on my bed I would stare at the ceiling wondering if their was a place out there in the world for me. I remember the day my dad left us. My brothers and I were doing our chores while my mom and dad went out side for a few moments. I left the room, but when I came back inside he was sitting there on the couch crying he had hugged each of us and when it came to me. He hugged me and told me he loved me, when my mom came back in she left to the bathroom. I watched my dad cry as I walked towards the couch. I was 11 and I still had tears down my face when he left that day. It was a strange feeling inside of me I was happy, hurt and a lot of other emotions at the same time. The thought that was on my mind was ' No more hits or belts?' and the main one was 'No more fear?' I remembered times before when our family was happy, when my dad never drank or never touched drugs,when college guys asking for drugs would stop by, when we would go to the park and I would go on the merry-go-round and I would go round-and-round and each time it would pass him and he would smile and wave at me and I stood there teetered on the edge grinning at him happily. I was happy he was always there each time that the world spun around me and I knew he would always catch me if I fell. . . After he left I would cry myself to sleep and I would avoid his calls to talk to me and send me letters yet I never answered or read them. I always reminded myself that I've always lived in fear and now I'm free.