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Does Anorexia Ever Get Cured?

"Just eat! What's wrong with you?! JUST EAT!" -mother

February, 2010: Lose my best friend of five years. She's decided that we were "too different."

April, 2010: 16th birthday.

May, 2010: We move for the ninth time. The house burns down on our second day in it. The fire takes everything down with it, including my two cats and my teddy bear.

August, 2010: For the first time in my life, I weigh 105lbs. I'm 4' 11". Behind my back, my Nana says I am getting chubby. I decide to go on a diet. I am 16.

September, 2010: I begin individual therapy. 95lbs.

December, 2010: Diagnosed with extreme depression. On Christmas, I begin anti-depressants. 93lbs.

January, 2011: 90lbs.

"Wow, why would she waste all this time and money? She could have just eaten her damn food." -Grandparents

February, 2011: 80lbs. Hospitalized. Stay in the inpatient psychiatric unit. Supposed to stay for six weeks, but am clever with my words and am out in one. Diagnosed with OCD, Extreme Depression, Severe Anxiety, and Anorexia Nervosa.

"Just eat! What's wrong with you?! JUST EAT!" -Mother

March, 2011: Suicidal Ideation. Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Bi-Polar Disorder, OCD, Anorexia Nervosa, and Social Anxiety Disorder.

"It's just like heroine for a heroine addict. Only instead of being addicted to doing something, she's addicted to NOT doing something. To not eating." -Therapist

April, 2011: 17th birthday. 102lbs. Am I cured?

May, 2011: 90lbs. No. No I'm not.

"I love you, just saying. <3" -aunt

Today: Peanut butter cookie consumed. ... Maybe, this is the start of being healthy again?

Comments

InTheMoment says,

Our strongest neuro-pathways are the ones we use over and over. Our weakest neuro-pathways are underdeveloped and neglected. As our thoughts and neurons do their thing, they go in the direction of the heavy traffic. Sometimes, getting off the beaten path is a journey worth taking. I say.. learn something new.. give your brain some work to do. It sounds like the internal and external focus is restricting your growth.

midwestsensibily says,

Powerful stuff.

Wench says,

These are some of the toughest years, especially when the people in our lives don't understand what's going on. It's difficult to 'get' depression or eating disorders unless you've experienced them and so often the people we need love and affirmation from appear uncaring and callused.

These are some hard things. Friends will leave when you need them most. Family will fail. Know that you are loved - start telling yourself that, even if it feels unnatural. Knowing that you are WORTH something is a difficult, uncomfortable thing when struggling with depression, but never forget that it's true. You are loved.

duffboy6 says,

As one of my therapists said to me (when helping me cope with my then gf's depression and anorexia): patients with eating disorder don't get "cured" (much like alcoholics learn to get by with meetings and staying sober everyday) they just learn to achieve healthy standards for them (set up by doctors, I presume). Hang in there, Jasmine!

You wrote about "being clever with words", all I can say is: therapy should be for your own benefit first, not for your family's or loved ones. If your part of the process, without telling people what they want to hear, but being honest, you'll get where you need to be sooner.

Hugs.

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