What mom and dad don't know.

He called saying that this was his only escape, the only way to get rid of the pain.

Do you remember the day you yelled at me for being on the phone too long? That was the day that he called crying. Do you relize what you did as you grabbed my phone after two hours of talking and shut it off? I bet you don't.

You know he called crying. He called saying he was holding the gun in his hand. He called saying that this was his only escape, the only way to get rid of the pain. You didn't know that I was his last hope of being alive.

I couldn't let him do it. He was the only one who was there for me. But why would you care about a friend of mine when you don't even care about me? All of the years you have spent screaming at me, telling me how much you hate me, how I deserve to die. And don't foget about the bruses I would have to hide. He knew about it all. He was the one who saved me from the same fate he was soon to have.

I spent those two hours talking to him, telling him how much I loved him, how much he ment to me. Finally he told me he wouldn't, that he coudn't leave me. He told me that he loved me.

I promised him that I wouldn't hang up until he fell alseep. All that was talked about was mindless topics, distractions you could say. But it was 11 p.m. You wouldn't have it. I had to shut it off now, you said, because if I didn't I'd pay. I couldn't do it though, I had made a promise.

I needed to stay on that phone, not only for him, but for me. That way I knew he fell asleep, I knew he would be safe until morning and I saw him the next day at school. But that confirmation never came, because you stole my phone and shut it off. You shut off the only way to know what was going on.

That was the worst night of my life, and the start of many sleepless nighs. But it was also the day I told myself I couldn't let this happen anymore. I would not let you affect me the way you have been. I would take care of myself. Myself and the one's I love.

The days of letting you be in control like that were over. I lived life then, not cowering in fear. I grew a backbone and you left me alone. I've got the love of my life by my side, and there is nothing you can do to take me off this cloud I've made home on. I'm too strong for that now.