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I don’t remember when I learned to sleep alone, but I do know when I re-learned.

It was at the end of my sophomore year of college, and the end of the longest and most serious romantic relationship I’ve had to date. I was in that crazy kind of love with this girl, the kind where a person can make you do whatever they want you to and …

It happened on a fall afternoon in 1999, when I was in the sixth grade.

I’d been gearing up for it all day. I was nervous, and extremely so. You wouldn’t believe how nervous I was, actually, unless you were once a 12-year-old boy who was about to kiss a girl who was not your Mom for the first time. Then you might get it, I guess, but …

Our house in Washington, D.C., had a steep staircase to the second floor. Two-thirds of the staircase was open to the living room except for a wrought iron railing. The upper third was hidden by a wall. Two small children could easily hide on the first step behind the wall and see what was happening below.

When I was about five, …

It took 34 years of living, 19 years of dating and well over 1000 first dates to find my soul mate.Our first date was July 5, he proposed September 5 and we were married December 4.

I never thought I wanted kids. This suprised many people. I have worked with kids in many different capacities throughout life. Most recently, as a dance and cheer coach. I was a …

My swimming instructor is Sophia. She is extremely petite and outrageously fit, positively glowing with the confidence and vitality that only a twenty year old can possess. Her hair is so lustrous and black it absorbs the fluorescent lights of the pool. Her teeth are perfectly straight and gleaming white. I try not to think about the cellulite on the back of my thighs, the varicose …

I had been seeing Stacy for a couple of months but had fallen headfirst in love. Stacy
lived in D.C., working for the Government Accounting Office while completing her college degree with a major in broadcast journalism. I had moved into Manhattan
to return to graduate school, thinking I would one day open a private psychotherapy
practice like the shrink I was going to at the time.Read more »

I don't know what day it was. Really, it wasn't just ONE day - it had been in progress for years. But, I finally realized that I am more than my scars, more than my unrequited love, more than my alcoholic father, more than my past. I realized that I am who I am. I accept my curves, my unruly hair, my unusual eyes. After so long trying, I just …

THANK GOD FOR HAIKU


I don’t know where I would be today if not for haiku. Haiku is a form of brief Japanese poetry; many in the West have been exposed to it in grammar school, taught that it consists of three lines with a 5-7-5 syllable structure. But I never studied haiku in grammar school; I first discovered haiku while studying Eastern philosophy, particularly Zen …

I am five years old and my mommy and daddy took a drive somewhere. My grandma came out to babysit my baby sister and me. Grandma lives in New York City. We take the bus and the train to go see her and my grandpa. My grandpa is a tailor. He has his own store. I love my grandma a lot; she cares for me …

My beloved grandfather died when I was five. He had a stroke and was hospitalized.
I have the vaguest recollection of being in the hospital waiting room. One at a time, my mother, aunt, godmother, and grandmother went up to see him. They returned tearful. I never got to say goodbye to my grandfather. Children weren’t allowed up to the rooms where the sick and dying …

My father was a mechanical engineer by training--a soldier in a bomb disposal squad during World War II who eventually became lead inventor for an auto accessory company. He left his secure and comfortable job to start his own business in pursuit of his passion: to put an affordable bidet of his own design in every home and hospital room in the U.S. However strange and unconventional it …

I never knew how badly I wanted to get married until I changed my Facebook status to engaged. Did you know that all you have to do to be validated by the entire world is to get engaged? Suddenly people think you’re worthwhile because you’re marriage material.

People have been writing the nicest comments. “He’s a lucky guy! You’re so smart and cool.”

One guy private messaged …

I sat on the radiator in the front hallway of my four-dude occupied apartment in Somerville, Mass that December day in 2001. My then-girlfriend sat 1,500 miles away in her parents' home. She asked what seemed a simple question: "What do you like more: writing or performing?"

At that point I'd done my fair share of both: acting in musicals and plays in high school and college; playing bass …
My life got better with antidepressants
I am depressed, I am happy.

I was nine years old when I realized that I was weird. I was home-schooled, so I didn't usually have to think about how I fit in with all the other kids my age. I didn't even notice that being home-schooled wasn't normal. On the day everything changed, Benny, who lived down the street, hopped the fence to the backyard, even though the gate was unlocked, and asked if he …

For a short, skinny, bespectacled kid, the school playground created two realities. One involved the opportunity to break free of the brainy kid label and let loose on the four-square and tetherball courts. The other reality involved embarrassment, ridicule and possible bodily harm. I preferred the former of the two realities. The problem was, while enjoying the fleeting euphoria of the first reality, experience told me the second wasn’t far …

2 second glances from across the room, both awkward and invigorating all in one. Never knew what was ahead for us, never knew how we would end. But as our eyes did meet i found a renewed feeling in me...one I never wanted to go away..

I had emergency surgery for a ruptured aorta at my heart. The surgery was difficult and long. I was in a coma for a couple of weeks. Docs told my folks to consider 'pulling the plug.' When I woke up, I'd had a stroke and was paralyzed on one side of my body.I was able to see and read all the wonderful notes sent to my folks about me.People expected …

I'm deep in the moment, at the moment: I want to make a baby. It's so rational it’s begun to feel irrational, it's hormonal, it's emotional. It’s exciting, yes, and also worth getting regularly shit-faced for due to the fear that arises when I realize that the baby cravings that started as a whisper and turned into a want are now a tentative plan, growing more certain by the day. …

November 22, 1963

The night of the assassination, a man and woman begin to date.

The young man, nineteen years old, tall and thin, hair gelled into a duck tail, always smiling, exposing a front left incisor chipped from a long-ago fight with a sister. Always a cigarette between two fingers of his right hand. Always talking, won’t stop joking, won’t stop laughing.

The young woman, …
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The Moment Book

Moments from the SMITH Community

Tomorrowland "Daisy, F3," my son Archer says as we pull into our parking spot. Disneyland’s about to open and we've arrived, just the two of us, our last hoorah before school starts. *** The alarm goes off and I pull the pillow tightly over my head. My husband, Hal, offers to wake the kids so I roll over, fall back asleep until Archer's voice wakes me, this time for good. "Hi, Mommy. It's …
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With Both Hands Whenever I think of my mother, my mind flips to this story. Not to the whole story, but right to the middle of it, the worst moments of it. For me, that's where the story always starts. My mother was beating the hell out of me. The first few blows seemed to come from every direction as I grabbed my nightgown and pulled it over my head, not …
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Reasons to be Thankful By Robert Israel They scraped me off the street, my bicycle in a heap nearby, and ever so gingerly placed me on the gurney. A crowd of curious onlookers watched intently, thankful they were not being loaded onto the ambulance. The nurses at the hospital were calming as nurses are wont to be, and administered an intravenous tube of morphine, and soon everything around me became fuzzy and numb, and the …
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Read More Community Moments →
 
SMITH Magazine

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