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Back when they still had record stores.

I was sixteen and didn't really realize I was being picked up. We bought some pot. He said he preferred whiskey so we drank some whiskey. We went to his apartment. I started passing out. I found myself throwing up in the bathroom. I got out of there. For some reason I had given him …

She said she would call in two weeks.

Two weeks can either be a short or very long time. When you're on holiday, two weeks zip past in the blink of an eye. One day you're just venturing out, roadmap in hand, everything you've packed clean and fresh. And suddenly, it's over; your roadmap handled into a wrinkled, unintelligible paper-cloth; the placenames so vibrant …

have just remembered another Mom story.

{She'll be so happy.}

Scene: Our carport one Friday morning during the traditional school year, many years ago.

{And yes carport. We had no garage till I moved out. I've no doubt this was planned.}

Mom and I venture out into the cold, grey day in order for her to drive me to school.

{N.B. …

The moment I realized I was a grown up.

I had given birth for the first time. It was hard.

Childbearing is not, as some you have you believe, a gathering of friends who sing kumbiya while everyone stitches a lovely quilt, drinks herbal tea, and passes around a plate of suspicious looking brownies - including you, between lamaze hee hee hee and ho ho ho's.
Read more »

Sometimes, all it takes is a miracle, no?

Our house in Minnesota had been languishing on the slumped real estate market for nine months, enough time to bring a new life into the world and way more time than I wanted to keep paying the mortgage. We were living with a relative in a different part of the country than the house was, grateful that at least we …

I saw the moment when I could throw oil on fire and let it all burn. It would have been effortless.

The conscious effort to stop the momentum of negative self talk took all the strength I had. It was entirely mental. I forced myself not to think. Then I forced myself to think things I did not believe. Such as: …

Ears ringing still with the harshness of her voice. Her tone irritating and cold. Its funny the things that really stand out in your memory. I realized I am falling out of love and in that instance I am reminded how useless a love partner is. How much of a pain they always turn out to be, the lies they tell, the hearts they break in their reckless abandonment of …

Had been taking fertility drugs, was on my second or third round and negative pee sticks. went to the doctor, nurse called and said are you sitting down? i said yes, she said your pregnant and i screamed yor f$@$%^ lyin!!
I cried with happiness for at least an hour. The best moment of my life.

February, 2010: Lose my best friend of five years. She's decided that we were "too different."

April, 2010: 16th birthday.

May, 2010: We move for the ninth time. The house burns down on our second day in it. The fire takes everything down with it, including my two cats and my teddy bear.

August, 2010: For the first time in my life, I weigh 105lbs. I'm 4' …

We were driving to friend's for a gathering on Christmas Eve. As we rounded a curve I said, "Will you marry me?". After a pause, she said, "OK...but don't tell anybody".
We ended up keeping the secret only a little while. Thirty years, and two children later, it was "the moment" that made all the rest worthwhile.

Graduation is upon me and all I can see is the white flakes of an empty globe floating to the surface. Nothing is certain and this idea has made my stomach twitch.

I am the snowman sitting in a glass case, an emotional wreck looking to hold on to all my memories of the past. There is nothing for me to grab and I am being turned upside down, …

The year was 2007. My two older brothers and I were traveling to Quetzaltenango (home to the second largest city in Guatemala) to visit our father in jail. Times were stressful and the drive was rocky, silent. MR and I were in the back, G. called shotgun (though he actually didn't, we just figured we was the oldest so...). To the day, this has been the only time that I've …

It was New York City's premier abortion clinic, and I was about six weeks pregnant. Overlooking New York City’s Central Park, it was an elegant, peculiarly chic Park Avenue destination. The entrance festooned with a stylish green canopy, it beckoned visitors into its warm lobby.

I walked in and sank into one of the several comfortable couches near the admissions desk. With morning sickness worsened by the three-hour bus …

"Terminal" was the word that nobody could say. Lying was the legacy of Dads last two weeks, "You will be able to go home tomorrow" ... "I Love You" the words I'd never thought would be the last. I was going home to see you tomorrow, instead I saw a catalog of broken dreams, caskets and sympathy cards. "The best is yet to come" are the words you never got …

Starting at the age of 6, i began losing my grandparents. By age 10, i had lost two. Age 14, I lost one of my grandfathers. And now, age 15, i just lost my final grandparent, the one i've been the closest to. The one I felt the closest to. The one I did stuff with, connected with. At the age of 15 my life has changed drasticlly, I've got …

It was Christmas Eve, 1975. My mother came home from work and found me in the hallway struggling to breathe. She frantically called the doctor and then carried me to the car and started driving. My gastroenterologists were all Jewish so they were at the office that day. Dr. Leo, the oldest, was like a father to me. He had been treating me for about ten years for the intestinal …

The moment I found out I was carrying a new soul into the world, my life changed forever. In an instant all the selfish, arrogant, and indulgent parts of me tumbled to the ground. I was the carrier of life, the nurturer of a spirit. I was truly humbled.

Middle school was hard for me. I didn't fit in and I was awkward. I remember crying myself to sleep almost every night. At the end of the year a boy gave me drugs (but that's another story). I was suspended for five days. I had never been in trouble so it was hard. Everyone looked at me different. On one of those five days for the first time I …

Feel it.
Speak it.
Write it.

What is that makes a mother try to reach for perfection? She had reached that goal of a family of 5, which consisted of twins and an older son and professional husband. She was a housewife. Not sure by choice- more by determination. She loved to remind us all, she wanted a family. She never had one. She stayed home with because she wanted to. She chose to never …
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The Moment Book

Moments from the SMITH Community

Tomorrowland "Daisy, F3," my son Archer says as we pull into our parking spot. Disneyland’s about to open and we've arrived, just the two of us, our last hoorah before school starts. *** The alarm goes off and I pull the pillow tightly over my head. My husband, Hal, offers to wake the kids so I roll over, fall back asleep until Archer's voice wakes me, this time for good. "Hi, Mommy. It's …
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With Both Hands Whenever I think of my mother, my mind flips to this story. Not to the whole story, but right to the middle of it, the worst moments of it. For me, that's where the story always starts. My mother was beating the hell out of me. The first few blows seemed to come from every direction as I grabbed my nightgown and pulled it over my head, not …
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Reasons to be Thankful By Robert Israel They scraped me off the street, my bicycle in a heap nearby, and ever so gingerly placed me on the gurney. A crowd of curious onlookers watched intently, thankful they were not being loaded onto the ambulance. The nurses at the hospital were calming as nurses are wont to be, and administered an intravenous tube of morphine, and soon everything around me became fuzzy and numb, and the …
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Read More Community Moments →
 
SMITH Magazine

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