He Said: "The Makeover"

Being a Scorpio of a mostly guarded nature, my most prized imagery is generally stashed away deep within my cerebellum or buried in an old boy scout box in the back of a closet

Uncluttered space has always been appealing to me. A room with very little furniture, a painted wall with very little artwork, a lawn with a single tree all has a certain simplicity I find soothing and easily comprehensible. Seeing a friend’s refrigerator covered in magnetic memorabilia can reveal insights into the mind of the owner best left hidden from view.

Being a Scorpio of a mostly guarded nature, my most prized imagery is generally stashed away deep within my cerebellum or buried in an old boy scout box in the back of a closet. I did have a few odd pieces on display on my refrigerator, an old high school decal, an odd magnet or two of no sentimental value, overall a fairly large blank canvas, just the way I liked it.

Much to the apparent dismay of my newly enthroned girlfriend, this would not do.

After a long day, I came home to a horrific display of kitsch “artfully” arranged on every square inch of surface metal. I gingerly opened the door fully expecting to find more inside. The display of kitsch caused me more pain than the over indulgence of fine wine I had the night before that I was just getting over. I didn’t hide my astonishment or disgust and proceeded to loudly veto all with extreme prejudice. Seeing the hurt in my soon-to-be wife’s eyes, I realized that cohabitating as a couple would require more consideration than I was currently employing. So I offered to compromise.

The next day, however, all was gone and that big empty canvas reminded me every morning of what a cad I’d been. Slowly over the next few months an odd piece would appear, I enthusiastically welcomed each and every one as they made my memory of that buffoonish display recede and fade deeper into my mind.

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