Latest Memoir:
I will never velcro my shoes.
- I will never velcro my shoes.
- We all covet the good laugh.
- Guys: heart-shaped pizza. No. No. Double-no.
- Puppy love collars Valentine's until midnight-pee.
- Over, when she yanked my choker.
- She hadn't realized she dumped me.
- Paid extra for the sharper thorns.
- Splurge on Godiva. Eat. Buy Brach's.
- Roses are red. Blueballs are blue.
- Chunk chick with chocolates, then dump.
- Sizzled some bacon. Sold my house.
- Marriage is God's pornographic consolation prize.
- God works clandestinely in man-made ways.
- The flaws we accept invite love.
- Wonder how it feels to die.






