becssmiffy’s Profile at SMITH Magazine

becssmiffy

Member since November, 2010
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About me

If you were to throw up your hands in exasperation and yell "it's the story of my life," what would you be talking about?
4 years
9 attempted suisides, one sucessful.
15 accidents, one death.
4 overdoses, countless drunken antics,
7 wild parties, two pregnancies, one abortion.
One rape, 4 runaways.
Spilled food, theft, fights, broken limbs, turf wars.
Scars, way to many scars.
Six months untill GCSE's, but no one gets a medal in the end, But everything you do here counts. High school.

Tears may fall, but i wont cry.
I may be misserable, but i act fine.
Although it hurts, I wont let it show.
I still want you, but no one will no.
I may think of you, but never say your name.
Even though I'm sad, I act like nothings changed.
And I miss you so much, but you'll never know.
And I thnk about it, but I'll never call.
I'll write the words down, never say them out load.
I'm dying for you to still love me, but I know you cant try.
My heart is broken, yet I still cant leave.
It was always her and never me.

I hold it back, deep down inside.
It takes all my strength, not to break down and cry.
Because your not worth the tears, and your not worth the pain.
You never were never worth the time, I've put into this thing.
So I lock up my heart, away on a shelf.
Where it cant be broken by somebody else.
I need to have time, so I can finally heal.
But it's so beaten and brused, i dont know if it will.
I dont want you here, but I dont want you to go.
And I dont want to be without you, I cant be alone.
And I dont want to hear your voice, I dont want to see your face.
And I dont want you to ignore me, and I dont want to be replaced.
And I dont want to hear your name, but I dont want to forget.
And even though it still hurts, I know I cant let you go.