I know, I know, this is approximately the 3,709,245th mention you’ll see of the dreaded Valentine’s Day today, so I do (half-heartedly) apologize to those of you without dates, but I found something at PostSecret, a blog where anyone can send in a postcard with a secret message to be posted, that’s just too good not to share.

It’s a collection of Valentine’s Day themed messages, and to make a long story short — if there’s such a thing as a Living Will for relationships, mine would read: “Please don’t ever let me date any of these people.”

Man, some people out there have had some seriously screwed up relationships. Like, for example, the person who sent in a picture of open-heart surgery captioned, “He’s falling in love… But I’ve been planning to break his heart since we met.”

Sounds like a couple ex-girlfriends of mine, actually.

(And for the record, yes, I do know someone who actually had to receive dental care for a tooth broken by one of those Valentine’s Day candy hearts. I’ve never understood why anyone would eat those things anyway; I prefer fondue.)