About Susan_Breeden
Nothing.
No favorites.
CNN.com, MSN.com, nytimes.com
Tried too hard. Backfired.
Anything that doesn't require too much thought.
My Favorite Stories
- Converted to Judaism for the jokes.
By lmattozz in Six-Word Memoirs
- In and out of hot water.
By piper in Six-Word Memoirs
- arthritic & menstruating. please kill me.
By marymc in Six-Word Memoirs
- Even public restrooms rejected his poems.
By JaePM in Six-Word Memoirs
- That? No. It only looks contagious.
- A legend in his spare time.
By daver in Six-Word Memoirs
- Now I obsessively count the words.
- Life is so simple, in retrospect
By steve25 in Six-Word Memoirs
- read more, walk more, talk less
By artgirl8 in Six-Word Resolutions
- It-girl married IT guy. Capital mistake.
By lmattozz in Six-Word Memoirs
My Stories
- Efforts weren't appreciated. I stopped trying.
- His deep pockets; her telephone number.
- The ring? Try the county landfill.
- Usually, writing is not this fun.
- "Eat less, exercise more."
Screw that. - Grey Goose: My kind of animal.
- Have too many goals. Accomplishing none.
- March. My beginning of New Year.
- Retrieved white flag from temporary storage.
- Put expectations on diet.
Seeing results. - My life's a Chinese Finger Trap.
- Making life up as I go.
- Monomethylhydrazine.
Easy for you to say. - My feelings aren't hurt. They're deceased.
- Getting in the last (six) word(s).
- Took inventory of life.
Much missing. - My usual outlets
lost their power... - Exhausted, defeated, hopeful.
Just another day. - Here comes my best friend, Friday.
- A mistake? That would be mine.
- Minimizing to the point of nothingness.
- Played the fool. Won an Oscar.
- Collecting the crumbs. Making a sandwich.
- Happy thoughts do nothing for me.
- Stop me before I volunteer again!
- Sorry, but I'm not apologizing anymore.
- Lately, feels like I'm everyone's "mommy."
- Considered giving up.
Trying harder instead. - I still have dreams. Some, fabulous.
- Men are from Mars? Let's go!
- Lunges are a girl's best friend.
- Rejection? I eat that for breakfast!
- Slippery slopes? My soul has cleats.
- At least the television's turned on.
- No, I can't take a hint.
- Have two houses. No real home.
- Thinking about how to stop obsessing.
- High heels, low standards, countless opportunities.
- Oh, Lord, what have I done?
- Love affair with self ended badly.
- Built momentum. Along came wrecking ball.
- Taking baby steps,
wearing opera pumps. - Discovered I could renegotiate my limitations.
- I couldn't have said it better.
- Keeping mouth shut
wasn't unheard of. - Took the high road.
Better mileage. - Purchased satin pillowcases. Having better dreams.
- He's a toy I've finally outgrown.
- Just don't care anymore...until tomorrow.
- In certain situations, loyalty totally sucks.
- 20/20 vision, yet I'm constantly blindsided.
- It only hurts when I laugh.
- One broken resolution. Two to go.
- Never said "never." Won't start now.
- Brushed the dust off my goals...
- Finally discarded all my "broken records."
- Starve my colds, feed my "fevers."
- Work hard. Play harder. Rest frequently.
- Stop counting carbohydrates; start counting blessings.
- New goal: lollygagging on the Chesterfield.
- Tomorrow, I'll try wine for breakfast.
- Hopefully, making an asset of myself.
- Reached my peak. Missed the view.
- Reduced expectations. Increased chances for happiness.
- Since I'm going to hell anyway...
- Alone with my thoughts.
Bad idea. - I repeat: I am not redundant.
- Experiencing blinding flashes of the obvious.
- Getting mileage out of my suffering.
- You and I have finally connected.
- Funny, I don't remember pressing "send."
- Inner arsonist seeks bridges to burn.
- Really can wait until last second.
- It's time to relax and unplug.
- Twitter: junk food for the brain.
- Political career over before it started.
- Had an epiphany. Somehow forgot it.
- Sometimes a finalist. Never a winner.
- Learning my lessons?
Apparently, not capable. - Contemplating something against my better judgment.
- At my keyboard, composing lyrical notes.
- Usually, I'm my own worst frenemy.
- Letting my fingers do the talking.
- Current count:
718 friends.
2 un-friends. - Texting while drunk? Very bad idea.
- The "new me," currently under construction.
- The best lover, the worst boyfriend.
- Real friends moved to Farm Town.
- "Hopeless" romantic?
That would be me. - Lying in the bed I've made.
- Twitter quitter, and proud of it.
- Thank God I learned to type.
- Too much information. Must read more.
- Facebook: high school all over again.
- Had the time of our lives...
- My darkest secret makes me smile.
- Best thing in life?
My imagination. - Told the truth. Ruined the fantasy.
- Don't know what I was thinking.
- Writing life's next chapter. Deadline looms.
- Ex-lover in town.
Me, in hiding. - Wanted: Hero in need of heroine.
- I just remodeled my comfort zone.
- Contemplate the universe, daily.
Infinitely overwhelmed. - His advances were inappropriate...and appreciated.
- Something about Elvis impersonator looked familiar...
- Sometimes, I would rather hear lies.
- Immediately, we belonged to each other.
- Preferences:
Steak – rare.
Sex – well done. - I screamed, but still wasn't heard.
- Lack of ability never stopped me.
- Got the joke.
I'm not laughing. - Took leap of faith.
Bad decision. - Wasted time on such serious thoughts.
- You look strong. Lift me up!
- Drank Tab, popped Dexatrim in '70s.
- Fighting personal demons.
They are winning. - Wish guilt trips earned frequent-flyer miles.
- Lowered my expectations. Enjoying the unexpected.
- Lost soul in need of TomTom.
- Another Monday. Another reason to hide.
- Yes, it really is rocket science.
- I'm his Dorothy, he's my Scarecrow.
- The temporary insanity lasted for weeks.
- It's only embarrassing the first time.
- Self portrait not at all flattering.
- Once left town under suspicious circumstances.
- "Damaged goods" doesn't begin to describe...
- Today, I'm crushed grapes.
Tomorrow, wine. - How's the view from your pedestal?
- There you go, seducing me again.
- Enjoying a heightened sense of awareness.
- Desperate for something effortless and beautiful.
- I rise, but I rarely shine.
- Taking voice lessons to be heard.
- Rules are made to be rewritten.
- This emotional hard drive, irreparably fragmented.
- Just a warning: it's very addictive.
- Knocked down...stood up....knocked down...
- Coffee, Red Bull. Still not awake.
- Always looking for nothing in particular.
- Batted 999, then dropped the ball.
- Now, creating memoirs in alphabet soup.
- Rushed to conclusion, took wrong turn.
- Denim girl in basic black world.
- Embraced books until their spines broke.
- This heart, an unsecured wireless network.
- Follow me. Let's get lost together.
- He's become my favorite bad habit.
- Kind words have no expiration date.
- "Things could be worse."
(Not comforting.) - Found out I've been breathing "incorrectly."
- Lost five pounds: the wrong five.
- Him, downstairs, sleeping.
Me, upstairs, crying. - Lemonade stand on corner overcharged me.
- Forever? That's all in the past.
- Spending more money I'll never have.
- Learning to say "no." Failing miserably.
- Funny how "the obvious" eludes me.
- New concept: putting my needs first.
- More I try, less I fear.
- Just traveled my last "extra mile."
- Sleep in same bed, worlds apart.
- Fell asleep clothed; woke up naked.
- Can't envision a life without Cheetos.
- Living in a new genre: Romance.
- Meet me halfway. I'll be waiting.
- "Last man standing" must be exhausted.
- Best dreams happen when I'm awake.
- You, me, and a 1976 Firebird.
- Given the choice, I'd rather dance.
- Forced to lower my standards. Again.
- Death is tough. Life is tougher.
- Blocked the Facebook "unfriender." Feels good.
- Dropping "name droppers"; plugging energy drains.
- I must get some work done...
- I'll get over it. Not today.
- Even he couldn't meet his standards.
- My personal boundaries just got stronger.
- Asked to join Facebook, then "unfriended."
- Facebook: New way to experience rejection.
- Don't apologize again. Just kiss me.
- I will succeed at being unsuccessful.
- More I think, less I feel.
- People frequently disappoint.
Pets never do. - Our "forever" ended much too soon.
- Admit it: You're a six addict.
- Wine with dinner, whine over dessert.
- Little black dress, now too little.
- Tomorrow's a new day. Big deal.
- My worst fear: No more cheese.
- Laughed yesterday. Cried today. I'm exhausted.
- Went to Chinese buffet without appetite.
- Today, just going through the motions.
- Currently drunk. Will I remember this?
- Once my kitten, now an angel.
- Tasted traffic jam. Didn't like it.
- I hear voices (in written words).
- Got eye strain, reading between lines.
- Having second thoughts for hundredth time.
- Tell me something good...or leave.
- Dated accountant. Couldn't count on him.
- Dated anchorman. He was bad news.
- Who am I? Wish I knew.
- The "roof over my head" leaks.
- Hit rock bottom, bounced even higher.
- Took my ego and fluffed it.
- All of a sudden, I'm "old."
- Heard the words; misunderstood the meaning.
- Happy ending? Somehow, I doubt it.
- I have wings. I will soar.
- Searching for things that matter most.
- My addiction will never abandon me.
- First dance: Disco.
Last dance: Waltz. - Had pistachios for breakfast. Bad choice.
- Too much fun? No such thing.
- The stories these walls could tell...
- Three historic words: "Eagle has landed."
- Past, present, future...
thoughts switch frequently. - Married. Husband still has cold feet.
- Fell head-over-handlebars for biker.
- Whatever happened to growing old gracefully?
- Tried latest diet, gained more frustration.
- The bitter end, worth the journey.
- Reached rope's end. Got a grip.
- There's nothing like a good seduction.
- Wanted to smoke. Couldn't get hooked.
- "Skinny fat"? I don't get it.
- He's intelligent. He's handsome. He's...imaginary.
- My colored parachute failed to open.
- Compulsive talker apologized profusely, then continued.
- First concert, John Denver, church outing.
- Bought last ticket to see Sinatra.
- Received love letter; couldn't read handwriting.
- No more crying over spilled secrets.
- He said, she said. Nobody listened.
- Worked in advertising; therefore, wrote fiction.
- "What if" myself toward improbable conclusions.
- Hurt so long I stopped noticing.
- Alone. Curled up in fetal position.
- Rather have romance than write one.
- Learning the ropes, avoiding the noose.
- Walked along beach. Stepped on jellyfish.
- Selective memory has served me well.
- Now, Enron seems like small potatoes.
- Spent much reality watching reality television.
- Surrounded by friends. Lonelier than ever.
- He was oil. I am water.
- They're not age spots. They're freckles!
- Breathless, but in a good way.
- Hot coffee, cool cotton sheets...heaven.
- Vega Sicilia, Manchego cheese, and you.
- Lost brother to AIDS. Still grieving.
- Addicted to drama, especially my own.
- Drank the whole bottle. Opened another.
- I love the thunder and lightening.
- Visited New York, took subway, 2:00am.
- Did I mention the panic attacks?
- The plan: Live now. Really live.
- I'm having way too much fun!
- Got lost in thought. Never returned.
- In next life? Woody Allen's muse.
- My "15 minutes" lasted for 14.
- Wore bell bottoms, first time around.
- My heart hasn't found right beat.
- Reinventing myself didn't happen as planned.
- Comfort zone, now open to public.
- The pill I took was red.
- My soulmate has whiskers and paws.
- Collected teddy bears and broken hearts.
- It only hurts when I dream.
- "Meaningless sex" took on new meaning.
- "Chance of a lifetime" never happened.
- One-time love affair happened twice.
- My fortune cookie was completely empty.
- Just a Cougar with catnip addiction.
- Davy Jones sang; heart did somersaults.
- Reverse psychology can't change backward thinking.
- Hairdresser knows my secrets; raised prices.
- Something happened that Xanax couldn't fix.
- Scars are beautiful. They tell stories.
- $100 wrinkle cream caused worry lines.
- Morning coffee tastes different without you.
- Born blonde, but brunette at heart.
- Dog's away. This cat will play.
- This week, every day was Monday.
- Hoping that "big break" isn't painful.
- Laughed at self before others could.
- Playboy paid me not to pose.
- Relinquished responsibility for my own happiness.
- Sometimes, I just need a hug.
- Internal storm, worse than Hurricane Ike.
- Minimalist relatively unaffected by store closings.
- Knight in shining armor lost job.
- Licked silver spoon before bank repossessed.
- Carry only possessions in $800 handbag.
- Misbehavin'
- Monogamy: Nothing to be ashamed of.
- Hoped for best. Got even better.
- Living, one breath at a time.
- Saw the future. Closed my eyes.
- One way out. Couldn't find it.
- Blank white pages, not always bad.
- Night was cold. He was warm.
- I keep so much locked inside.
- Overachiever, yet haven't achieved anything worthwhile.
- We went the distance. Got lost.
- I still wrap houses, for fun.
- Forgot how to apply postage stamps.
- Sometimes, my life doesn't totally suck.
- The truth is: I often lie.
- Which is it? Reality, or show?
- Nobody came to my "big reveal."
- Don't make me stop this car!
- I think I understand: You misunderstood.
- Go ahead: laugh. You'll be next.
- I don't always cry at weddings.
- Life moves fast, ignores speed bumps.
- The truth hurts. Lie to me.
- Kept chin up. Stumbled upon solutions.
- Story of my life lacks plotting.
- Life. It all happened so fast.
- I'm never sure where to begin.
- Gave mink coat a proper burial.
- Childish, but no longer a child.
- Never at home when opportunity knocks.
- Threw a tantrum. Got my way.
- Yes, I want to grow old.
- Have passport and yearning; will travel.
- My cat will probably outlive me.
- Learned Pythagorean theorem to impress him.
- He really wasn't my type anyway.
- Not a conversationalist. Prefer body language.
- Where would we be without words?
- Submitted life story. Received "standard" rejection.
- Eating clean, staying lean, living green.
- Trees are family members. (Family trees.)
- At least my cat understands me.
- His proposal: "Let's see other people."
- Ended the same place I started.
- Wanted kids. Husband didn't. I lost.
- Won the lottery. Lost the ticket.
- For lease: One-trick pony. Cash only.
- He took pleasure from my suffering.
- He called her "whore." Paid price.
- Threw away memories. Want them back.
- Met him halfway. He didn't show.
- Met the deadline. Lost my sanity.
- Bad memories stick. Need mental floss.
- Took placebo. Feel much better now.
- Compulsive liar denies cheating on mistress.
- Just can't let go...of past.
- Compulsive thinker "gives it some thought."
- Opened secret diary. Discovered many skeletons.
- Walked softly; carried a big grudge.
- So many scars, so few regrets.
- He couldn't read my "stop" signs.
- My "reason to live" stopped living.
- Answers don't change. Questions, however, do.
- Easy on eyes, difficult on heart.
- I have run out of epiphanies.
- I smoke, but I don't inhale.
- Sold everything...except my teddy bear.
- Teased me; not in "good" way.
- Want to write. Can't find muse.
- Romance derailed on train to Moscow.
- He who makes money, calls shots.
- Sociopath stole my heart...and identity.
- Business deal with sociopath ended poorly.
- "Yes" opens doors. Often, wrong ones.
- David Cassidy never wrote me back.
- Fell off horse. Landed on feet.
- What if stalker is "the one?"
- In Amsterdam. Wish you were here.
- Something about his pessimism was comforting.
- "Saw the light" in windowless room.
- Second childhood: Better toys, naughtier boys.
- Late bloomer compensating for lost time.
- Crazy times, crazy people, crazy fun.
- More I wanted, less he gave.
- Coffee, kisses, conversation, in that order.
- Just saying it cuz it's true.
- He wore Bukowski on his sleeve.
- Dream of being Belle de Jour.
- Left my handcuffs on your nightstand.
- We met for lunch. Didn't eat.
- Drive me crazy tonight. I insist.
- Danced to Jimmy Somerville in '80s.
- Was a "nice girl." Not anymore.
- Ear plugs have saved our marriage.
- Wish life had a "pause" button.
- She wore Doc Martens combat boots...
- One question: Are we almost there?
- You'll find me where I am.
- Wanted a challenge, not an impossibility.
- Wanted: The good kind of stress.
- Oh boy...we're in trouble now.
- Walked on wild side. Got wounded.
- Life: May cause serious side effects.
- Love is fragile. Handle with care.
- Talk me down from the ledge!
- Met in tanning salon. Got burned.
- Vienna, midnight, you and I, waltzing.
- Discovered shellfish allergy during deep-sea dive.
- This house never felt like home.
- Marriage: a roof over my head.
- Mother insisted I take typing. Thanks!
- Left for lunch, never came back.
- Anorexic by 8. Supermodel by 18.
- Thought I knew everything. Knew nothing.
- Had to ask; didn't like answer.
- I was used by used-car salesman.
- I'm leaving everything to my cat.
- Played mind games. We both lost.
- Of course I (don't) trust you.
- He spoke Russian. Understood him anyway.
- Afraid of heights. Became scuba diver.
- Kicked off Ferris wheel for spitting.
- Went to Mexico. Drank the water.
- To-do list: Stop making to-do lists.
- Hitchhiked. Lived to tell about it.
- Story I told eventually came true.
- Affair with philosophy professor was transcendental.
- Keeping it simple made it complicated.
- My moment of clarity was blurred.
- Never thought I would...but did.
- Drank wine, walked barefoot, broke toes.
- Secret lover no longer a secret.
- Relationship was a joke. Not funny.
- Not sure he ever loved me.
- My broken heart just isn't mending.
- I loved the thought of him.
- Him: Deep-sea diver. Her: Bathing Beauty.
- Him: True crime writer. Her: Sociopath.
- Her: Rocket Scientist. Him: Space Cadet.
- Downloaded his photo. Caught computer virus.
- It was fun while it lasted.
- I liked us better before marriage.
- We fell in love while arguing.
- Had short leash...didn't use it.
- Bought me jewelry. Must have cheated.
- Worked together, played together, stayed together.
- Went parking, sped through small talk.
- Wore our socks...but nothing else.
- Had high IQ, but wasn't smart.
- Now I'm completely out of tears.
- Shook his hand...didn't let go.
- When we got married, "I" disappeared.
- Shouldn't have gone dancing without him.
- Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't fix anything.
- We both love anchovies and B-movies.
- I spoiled him. Now he's rotten.
- We kept it simple: No names.
- I moved out. More doors opened.
- I felt so safe with him.
- My Golden Retriever even hated him.
- The headache is real this time.
- Ups and downs, but mostly downs.
- She loved him for his Porche.
- We broke up, I broke down.
- He even liked my granny panties...
- Used me up. Threw me away.
- Lined kitty's litterbox with his letters.
- The bedsheets tangled around our feet.
- He left bruises on my heart.
- Wish love had a "backspace" key.
- At first, nothing. At last, everything.
- I know how this story ends.
- My tattoo, his name, our secret.
- He kisses me when I'm sleeping.
- Makes him happy when I'm sad.
- Loved his mouth, hated his words.
- Never thought I'd stray, but did.
- He spoke lies with French dialect.
- Lonely heart trumps broken one.
- What the hell was I thinking?
- Makes tons of money. Shares nothing.
- Bad decisions come in all sizes.
- Begged me to stay, then left.
- Fell head over heels. Got concussion.
- Loved him and every other brunet.
- Offered key to apartment, and heart.
- Sex for dinner. Heartbreak for breakfast.
- The bed's more comfortable without him.
- He used my toothbrush...and me.
- I was lost. He found me.
- Regret giving him a second chance.
- He withholds affection. I go elsewhere.
- Has the bed to himself now.
- Hard to handle. Easy to leave.
- He cheated, but I ultimately won.
- The wedding invitations were already sent.
- He had the cutest little...smile.
- Only white cotton sheets between us.
- Had cold feet. Now lives alone.
- Lipstick on collar: It really happens.
- Walked around naked because he asked.
- Wears socks to bed, nothing else.
- Never hugs me. Won't say why.
- He didn't even say, "Happy Anniversary."
- The new underwear was a clue.
- The double bed wasn't cozy enough.
- The wine tastes better without him.
- He mistakenly thought she'd love him.
- I dreamed we met for coffee.
- I miss him, but not enough.
- He drove by my house again...
- Says he's sorry. I definitely agree.
- He prefers holding the remote control.
- I feel scared; must be love.
- Love gives. Hate takes. I'm exhausted.
- He is someone I'd rather forget.
- The past is where we belong.
- It's the worst kind of hell.
- Met for dinner...had dessert instead.
- I never knew him at all.
- Nothing I said could fix it.
- Hog the covers. I don't mind.
- Mental note: Buy an extra toothbrush.
- He borrowed money. Owes me interest.
- Saw him dancing with another woman.
- Afterward, we smoked Dunhill Superior Milds.
- He likes The Stones. And me.
- He had lipstick on his earlobe.
- He touched me without touching me.
- Fell asleep together. Woke up alone.
- Didn't know about the criminal record.
- Blame it on that dirty martini.
- I played fair. He played around.
- Two men. One choice. Not fair.
- Asked for nothing. Gave me everything.
- I made a mistake: said "yes."
- Started in heaven. Ended in hell.
- Marry me or leave. No pressure.
- We need a new mattress. Again.


