About Susan_Breeden
In bed I like to read:
Nothing.
My favorite story of all time is:
No favorites.
Besides SMITH, I read stories at:
CNN.com, MSN.com, nytimes.com
If you were to throw up your hands in exasperation and yell "it's the story of my life," what would you be talking about?
Tried too hard. Backfired.
Right now, I'm reading:
Anything that doesn't require too much thought.
My Favorite Stories
- Converted to Judaism for the jokes.
By lmattozz in Six-Word Memoirs
- In and out of hot water.
By piper in Six-Word Memoirs
- arthritic & menstruating. please kill me.
By marymc in Six-Word Memoirs
- Even public restrooms rejected his poems.
By JaePM in Six-Word Memoirs
- That? No. It only looks contagious.
- A legend in his spare time.
By daver in Six-Word Memoirs
- Now I obsessively count the words.
- Life is so simple, in retrospect
By steve25 in Six-Word Memoirs
- read more, walk more, talk less
By artgirl8 in Six-Word Resolutions
- It-girl married IT guy. Capital mistake.
By lmattozz in Six-Word Memoirs
My Stories
- Efforts weren't appreciated. I stopped trying.
- His deep pockets; her telephone number.
- The ring? Try the county landfill.
- Usually, writing is not this fun.
- "Eat less, exercise more."
Screw that. - Grey Goose: My kind of animal.
- Have too many goals. Accomplishing none.
- March. My beginning of New Year.
- Retrieved white flag from temporary storage.
- Put expectations on diet.
Seeing results. - My life's a Chinese Finger Trap.
- Making life up as I go.
- Monomethylhydrazine.
Easy for you to say. - My feelings aren't hurt. They're deceased.
- Getting in the last (six) word(s).
- Took inventory of life.
Much missing. - My usual outlets
lost their power... - Exhausted, defeated, hopeful.
Just another day. - Here comes my best friend, Friday.
- A mistake? That would be mine.
- Minimizing to the point of nothingness.
- Played the fool. Won an Oscar.
- Collecting the crumbs. Making a sandwich.
- Happy thoughts do nothing for me.
- Stop me before I volunteer again!
- Sorry, but I'm not apologizing anymore.
- Lately, feels like I'm everyone's "mommy."
- Considered giving up.
Trying harder instead. - I still have dreams. Some, fabulous.
- Men are from Mars? Let's go!
- Lunges are a girl's best friend.
- Rejection? I eat that for breakfast!
- Slippery slopes? My soul has cleats.
- At least the television's turned on.
- No, I can't take a hint.
- Have two houses. No real home.
- Thinking about how to stop obsessing.
- High heels, low standards, countless opportunities.
- Oh, Lord, what have I done?
- Love affair with self ended badly.
- Built momentum. Along came wrecking ball.
- Taking baby steps,
wearing opera pumps. - Discovered I could renegotiate my limitations.
- I couldn't have said it better.
- Keeping mouth shut
wasn't unheard of. - Took the high road.
Better mileage. - Purchased satin pillowcases. Having better dreams.
- He's a toy I've finally outgrown.
- Just don't care anymore...until tomorrow.
- In certain situations, loyalty totally sucks.
- 20/20 vision, yet I'm constantly blindsided.
- It only hurts when I laugh.
- One broken resolution. Two to go.
- Never said "never." Won't start now.
- Brushed the dust off my goals...
- Finally discarded all my "broken records."
- Starve my colds, feed my "fevers."
- Work hard. Play harder. Rest frequently.
- Stop counting carbohydrates; start counting blessings.
- New goal: lollygagging on the Chesterfield.
- Tomorrow, I'll try wine for breakfast.
- Hopefully, making an asset of myself.
- Reached my peak. Missed the view.
- Reduced expectations. Increased chances for happiness.
- Since I'm going to hell anyway...
- Alone with my thoughts.
Bad idea. - I repeat: I am not redundant.
- Experiencing blinding flashes of the obvious.
- Getting mileage out of my suffering.
- You and I have finally connected.
- Funny, I don't remember pressing "send."
- Inner arsonist seeks bridges to burn.
- Really can wait until last second.
- It's time to relax and unplug.
- Twitter: junk food for the brain.
- Political career over before it started.
- Had an epiphany. Somehow forgot it.
- Sometimes a finalist. Never a winner.
- Learning my lessons?
Apparently, not capable. - Contemplating something against my better judgment.
- At my keyboard, composing lyrical notes.
- Usually, I'm my own worst frenemy.
- Letting my fingers do the talking.
- Current count:
718 friends.
2 un-friends. - Texting while drunk? Very bad idea.
- The "new me," currently under construction.
- The best lover, the worst boyfriend.
- Real friends moved to Farm Town.
- "Hopeless" romantic?
That would be me. - Lying in the bed I've made.
- Twitter quitter, and proud of it.
- Thank God I learned to type.
- Too much information. Must read more.
- Facebook: high school all over again.
- Had the time of our lives...
- My darkest secret makes me smile.
- Best thing in life?
My imagination. - Told the truth. Ruined the fantasy.
- Don't know what I was thinking.
- Writing life's next chapter. Deadline looms.
- Ex-lover in town.
Me, in hiding. - Wanted: Hero in need of heroine.
- I just remodeled my comfort zone.
- Contemplate the universe, daily.
Infinitely overwhelmed. - His advances were inappropriate...and appreciated.
- Something about Elvis impersonator looked familiar...
- Sometimes, I would rather hear lies.
- Immediately, we belonged to each other.
- Preferences:
Steak – rare.
Sex – well done. - I screamed, but still wasn't heard.
- Lack of ability never stopped me.
- Got the joke.
I'm not laughing. - Took leap of faith.
Bad decision. - Wasted time on such serious thoughts.
- You look strong. Lift me up!
- Drank Tab, popped Dexatrim in '70s.
- Fighting personal demons.
They are winning. - Wish guilt trips earned frequent-flyer miles.
- Lowered my expectations. Enjoying the unexpected.
- Lost soul in need of TomTom.
- Another Monday. Another reason to hide.
- Yes, it really is rocket science.
- I'm his Dorothy, he's my Scarecrow.
- The temporary insanity lasted for weeks.
- It's only embarrassing the first time.
- Self portrait not at all flattering.
- Once left town under suspicious circumstances.
- "Damaged goods" doesn't begin to describe...
- Today, I'm crushed grapes.
Tomorrow, wine. - How's the view from your pedestal?
- There you go, seducing me again.
- Enjoying a heightened sense of awareness.
- Desperate for something effortless and beautiful.
- I rise, but I rarely shine.
- Taking voice lessons to be heard.
- Rules are made to be rewritten.
- This emotional hard drive, irreparably fragmented.
- Just a warning: it's very addictive.
- Knocked down...stood up....knocked down...
- Coffee, Red Bull. Still not awake.
- Always looking for nothing in particular.
- Batted 999, then dropped the ball.
- Now, creating memoirs in alphabet soup.
- Rushed to conclusion, took wrong turn.
- Denim girl in basic black world.
- Embraced books until their spines broke.
- This heart, an unsecured wireless network.
- Follow me. Let's get lost together.
- He's become my favorite bad habit.
- Kind words have no expiration date.
- "Things could be worse."
(Not comforting.) - Found out I've been breathing "incorrectly."
- Lost five pounds: the wrong five.
- Him, downstairs, sleeping.
Me, upstairs, crying. - Lemonade stand on corner overcharged me.
- Forever? That's all in the past.
- Spending more money I'll never have.
- Learning to say "no." Failing miserably.
- Funny how "the obvious" eludes me.
- New concept: putting my needs first.
- More I try, less I fear.
- Just traveled my last "extra mile."
- Sleep in same bed, worlds apart.
- Fell asleep clothed; woke up naked.
- Can't envision a life without Cheetos.
- Living in a new genre: Romance.
- Meet me halfway. I'll be waiting.
- "Last man standing" must be exhausted.
- Best dreams happen when I'm awake.
- You, me, and a 1976 Firebird.
- Given the choice, I'd rather dance.
- Forced to lower my standards. Again.
- Death is tough. Life is tougher.
- Blocked the Facebook "unfriender." Feels good.
- Dropping "name droppers"; plugging energy drains.
- I must get some work done...
- I'll get over it. Not today.
- Even he couldn't meet his standards.
- My personal boundaries just got stronger.
- Asked to join Facebook, then "unfriended."
- Facebook: New way to experience rejection.
- Don't apologize again. Just kiss me.
- I will succeed at being unsuccessful.
- More I think, less I feel.
- People frequently disappoint.
Pets never do. - Our "forever" ended much too soon.
- Admit it: You're a six addict.
- Wine with dinner, whine over dessert.
- Little black dress, now too little.
- Tomorrow's a new day. Big deal.
- My worst fear: No more cheese.
- Laughed yesterday. Cried today. I'm exhausted.
- Went to Chinese buffet without appetite.
- Today, just going through the motions.
- Currently drunk. Will I remember this?
- Once my kitten, now an angel.
- Tasted traffic jam. Didn't like it.
- I hear voices (in written words).
- Got eye strain, reading between lines.
- Having second thoughts for hundredth time.
- Tell me something good...or leave.
- Dated accountant. Couldn't count on him.
- Dated anchorman. He was bad news.
- Who am I? Wish I knew.
- The "roof over my head" leaks.
- Hit rock bottom, bounced even higher.
- Took my ego and fluffed it.
- All of a sudden, I'm "old."
- Heard the words; misunderstood the meaning.
- Happy ending? Somehow, I doubt it.
- I have wings. I will soar.
- Searching for things that matter most.
- My addiction will never abandon me.
- First dance: Disco.
Last dance: Waltz. - Had pistachios for breakfast. Bad choice.
- Too much fun? No such thing.
- The stories these walls could tell...
- Three historic words: "Eagle has landed."
- Past, present, future...
thoughts switch frequently. - Married. Husband still has cold feet.
- Fell head-over-handlebars for biker.
- Whatever happened to growing old gracefully?
- Tried latest diet, gained more frustration.
- The bitter end, worth the journey.
- Reached rope's end. Got a grip.
- There's nothing like a good seduction.
- Wanted to smoke. Couldn't get hooked.
- "Skinny fat"? I don't get it.
- He's intelligent. He's handsome. He's...imaginary.
- My colored parachute failed to open.
- Compulsive talker apologized profusely, then continued.
- First concert, John Denver, church outing.
- Bought last ticket to see Sinatra.
- Received love letter; couldn't read handwriting.
- No more crying over spilled secrets.
- He said, she said. Nobody listened.
- Worked in advertising; therefore, wrote fiction.
- "What if" myself toward improbable conclusions.
- Hurt so long I stopped noticing.
- Alone. Curled up in fetal position.
- Rather have romance than write one.
- Learning the ropes, avoiding the noose.
- Walked along beach. Stepped on jellyfish.
- Selective memory has served me well.
- Now, Enron seems like small potatoes.
- Spent much reality watching reality television.
- Surrounded by friends. Lonelier than ever.
- He was oil. I am water.
- They're not age spots. They're freckles!
- Breathless, but in a good way.
- Hot coffee, cool cotton sheets...heaven.
- Vega Sicilia, Manchego cheese, and you.
- Lost brother to AIDS. Still grieving.
- Addicted to drama, especially my own.
- Drank the whole bottle. Opened another.
- I love the thunder and lightening.
- Visited New York, took subway, 2:00am.
- Did I mention the panic attacks?
- The plan: Live now. Really live.
- I'm having way too much fun!
- Got lost in thought. Never returned.
- In next life? Woody Allen's muse.
- My "15 minutes" lasted for 14.
- Wore bell bottoms, first time around.
- My heart hasn't found right beat.
- Reinventing myself didn't happen as planned.
- Comfort zone, now open to public.
- The pill I took was red.
- My soulmate has whiskers and paws.
- Collected teddy bears and broken hearts.
- It only hurts when I dream.
- "Meaningless sex" took on new meaning.
- "Chance of a lifetime" never happened.
- One-time love affair happened twice.
- My fortune cookie was completely empty.
- Just a Cougar with catnip addiction.
- Davy Jones sang; heart did somersaults.
- Reverse psychology can't change backward thinking.
- Hairdresser knows my secrets; raised prices.
- Something happened that Xanax couldn't fix.
- Scars are beautiful. They tell stories.
- $100 wrinkle cream caused worry lines.
- Morning coffee tastes different without you.
- Born blonde, but brunette at heart.
- Dog's away. This cat will play.
- This week, every day was Monday.
- Hoping that "big break" isn't painful.
- Laughed at self before others could.
- Playboy paid me not to pose.
- Relinquished responsibility for my own happiness.
- Sometimes, I just need a hug.
- Internal storm, worse than Hurricane Ike.
- Minimalist relatively unaffected by store closings.
- Knight in shining armor lost job.
- Licked silver spoon before bank repossessed.
- Carry only possessions in $800 handbag.
- Misbehavin'
- Monogamy: Nothing to be ashamed of.
- Hoped for best. Got even better.
- Living, one breath at a time.
- Saw the future. Closed my eyes.
- One way out. Couldn't find it.
- Blank white pages, not always bad.
- Night was cold. He was warm.
- I keep so much locked inside.
- Overachiever, yet haven't achieved anything worthwhile.
- We went the distance. Got lost.
- I still wrap houses, for fun.
- Forgot how to apply postage stamps.
- Sometimes, my life doesn't totally suck.
- The truth is: I often lie.
- Which is it? Reality, or show?
- Nobody came to my "big reveal."
- Don't make me stop this car!
- I think I understand: You misunderstood.
- Go ahead: laugh. You'll be next.
- I don't always cry at weddings.
- Life moves fast, ignores speed bumps.
- The truth hurts. Lie to me.
- Kept chin up. Stumbled upon solutions.
- Story of my life lacks plotting.
- Life. It all happened so fast.
- I'm never sure where to begin.
- Gave mink coat a proper burial.
- Childish, but no longer a child.
- Never at home when opportunity knocks.
- Threw a tantrum. Got my way.
- Yes, I want to grow old.
- Have passport and yearning; will travel.
- My cat will probably outlive me.
- Learned Pythagorean theorem to impress him.
- He really wasn't my type anyway.
- Not a conversationalist. Prefer body language.
- Where would we be without words?
- Submitted life story. Received "standard" rejection.
- Eating clean, staying lean, living green.
- Trees are family members. (Family trees.)
- At least my cat understands me.
- His proposal: "Let's see other people."
- Ended the same place I started.
- Wanted kids. Husband didn't. I lost.
- Won the lottery. Lost the ticket.
- For lease: One-trick pony. Cash only.
- He took pleasure from my suffering.
- He called her "whore." Paid price.
- Threw away memories. Want them back.
- Met him halfway. He didn't show.
- Met the deadline. Lost my sanity.
- Bad memories stick. Need mental floss.
- Took placebo. Feel much better now.
- Compulsive liar denies cheating on mistress.
- Just can't let go...of past.
- Compulsive thinker "gives it some thought."
- Opened secret diary. Discovered many skeletons.
- Walked softly; carried a big grudge.
- So many scars, so few regrets.
- He couldn't read my "stop" signs.
- My "reason to live" stopped living.
- Answers don't change. Questions, however, do.
- Easy on eyes, difficult on heart.
- I have run out of epiphanies.
- I smoke, but I don't inhale.
- Sold everything...except my teddy bear.
- Teased me; not in "good" way.
- Want to write. Can't find muse.
- Romance derailed on train to Moscow.
- He who makes money, calls shots.
- Sociopath stole my heart...and identity.
- Business deal with sociopath ended poorly.
- "Yes" opens doors. Often, wrong ones.
- David Cassidy never wrote me back.
- Fell off horse. Landed on feet.
- What if stalker is "the one?"
- In Amsterdam. Wish you were here.
- Something about his pessimism was comforting.
- "Saw the light" in windowless room.
- Second childhood: Better toys, naughtier boys.
- Late bloomer compensating for lost time.
- Crazy times, crazy people, crazy fun.
- More I wanted, less he gave.
- Coffee, kisses, conversation, in that order.
- Just saying it cuz it's true.
- He wore Bukowski on his sleeve.
- Dream of being Belle de Jour.
- Left my handcuffs on your nightstand.
- We met for lunch. Didn't eat.
- Drive me crazy tonight. I insist.
- Danced to Jimmy Somerville in '80s.
- Was a "nice girl." Not anymore.
- Ear plugs have saved our marriage.
- Wish life had a "pause" button.
- She wore Doc Martens combat boots...
- One question: Are we almost there?
- You'll find me where I am.
- Wanted a challenge, not an impossibility.
- Wanted: The good kind of stress.
- Oh boy...we're in trouble now.
- Walked on wild side. Got wounded.
- Life: May cause serious side effects.
- Love is fragile. Handle with care.
- Talk me down from the ledge!
- Met in tanning salon. Got burned.
- Vienna, midnight, you and I, waltzing.
- Discovered shellfish allergy during deep-sea dive.
- This house never felt like home.
- Marriage: a roof over my head.
- Mother insisted I take typing. Thanks!
- Left for lunch, never came back.
- Anorexic by 8. Supermodel by 18.
- Thought I knew everything. Knew nothing.
- Had to ask; didn't like answer.
- I was used by used-car salesman.
- I'm leaving everything to my cat.
- Played mind games. We both lost.
- Of course I (don't) trust you.
- He spoke Russian. Understood him anyway.
- Afraid of heights. Became scuba diver.
- Kicked off Ferris wheel for spitting.
- Went to Mexico. Drank the water.
- To-do list: Stop making to-do lists.
- Hitchhiked. Lived to tell about it.
- Story I told eventually came true.
- Affair with philosophy professor was transcendental.
- Keeping it simple made it complicated.
- My moment of clarity was blurred.
- Never thought I would...but did.
- Drank wine, walked barefoot, broke toes.
- Secret lover no longer a secret.
- Relationship was a joke. Not funny.
- Not sure he ever loved me.
- My broken heart just isn't mending.
- I loved the thought of him.
- Him: Deep-sea diver. Her: Bathing Beauty.
- Him: True crime writer. Her: Sociopath.
- Her: Rocket Scientist. Him: Space Cadet.
- Downloaded his photo. Caught computer virus.
- It was fun while it lasted.
- I liked us better before marriage.
- We fell in love while arguing.
- Had short leash...didn't use it.
- Bought me jewelry. Must have cheated.
- Worked together, played together, stayed together.
- Went parking, sped through small talk.
- Wore our socks...but nothing else.
- Had high IQ, but wasn't smart.
- Now I'm completely out of tears.
- Shook his hand...didn't let go.
- When we got married, "I" disappeared.
- Shouldn't have gone dancing without him.
- Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't fix anything.
- We both love anchovies and B-movies.
- I spoiled him. Now he's rotten.
- We kept it simple: No names.
- I moved out. More doors opened.
- I felt so safe with him.
- My Golden Retriever even hated him.
- The headache is real this time.
- Ups and downs, but mostly downs.
- She loved him for his Porche.
- We broke up, I broke down.
- He even liked my granny panties...
- Used me up. Threw me away.
- Lined kitty's litterbox with his letters.
- The bedsheets tangled around our feet.
- He left bruises on my heart.
- Wish love had a "backspace" key.
- At first, nothing. At last, everything.
- I know how this story ends.
- My tattoo, his name, our secret.
- He kisses me when I'm sleeping.
- Makes him happy when I'm sad.
- Loved his mouth, hated his words.
- Never thought I'd stray, but did.
- He spoke lies with French dialect.
- Lonely heart trumps broken one.
- What the hell was I thinking?
- Makes tons of money. Shares nothing.
- Bad decisions come in all sizes.
- Begged me to stay, then left.
- Fell head over heels. Got concussion.
- Loved him and every other brunet.
- Offered key to apartment, and heart.
- Sex for dinner. Heartbreak for breakfast.
- The bed's more comfortable without him.
- He used my toothbrush...and me.
- I was lost. He found me.
- Regret giving him a second chance.
- He withholds affection. I go elsewhere.
- Has the bed to himself now.
- Hard to handle. Easy to leave.
- He cheated, but I ultimately won.
- The wedding invitations were already sent.
- He had the cutest little...smile.
- Only white cotton sheets between us.
- Had cold feet. Now lives alone.
- Lipstick on collar: It really happens.
- Walked around naked because he asked.
- Wears socks to bed, nothing else.
- Never hugs me. Won't say why.
- He didn't even say, "Happy Anniversary."
- The new underwear was a clue.
- The double bed wasn't cozy enough.
- The wine tastes better without him.
- He mistakenly thought she'd love him.
- I dreamed we met for coffee.
- I miss him, but not enough.
- He drove by my house again...
- Says he's sorry. I definitely agree.
- He prefers holding the remote control.
- I feel scared; must be love.
- Love gives. Hate takes. I'm exhausted.
- He is someone I'd rather forget.
- The past is where we belong.
- It's the worst kind of hell.
- Met for dinner...had dessert instead.
- I never knew him at all.
- Nothing I said could fix it.
- Hog the covers. I don't mind.
- Mental note: Buy an extra toothbrush.
- He borrowed money. Owes me interest.
- Saw him dancing with another woman.
- Afterward, we smoked Dunhill Superior Milds.
- He likes The Stones. And me.
- He had lipstick on his earlobe.
- He touched me without touching me.
- Fell asleep together. Woke up alone.
- Didn't know about the criminal record.
- Blame it on that dirty martini.
- I played fair. He played around.
- Two men. One choice. Not fair.
- Asked for nothing. Gave me everything.
- I made a mistake: said "yes."
- Started in heaven. Ended in hell.
- Marry me or leave. No pressure.
- We need a new mattress. Again.
