Member since March, 2011
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Besides SMITH, I read stories at:
the checkout line at the grocery store.
In bed I like to read:
the label on my Ambien vial.
My favorite story of all time is:
the one where Jane runs, then she meets Dick, and then some other stuff happens.
If you were to throw up your hands in exasperation and yell "it's the story of my life," what would you be talking about?
running into Mary-Kate Olsen only to find we are both wearing the EXACT same outfit!
Latest Memoir (of 112):
Pup's "lump" is a benign cyst.
- Pup's "lump" is a benign cyst.
- Amazon: rain forest or shopping addiction?
- Dad's vague advice: be a man.
- Nothing will match mom's comforting hugs.
- Avoid people my dog doesn't like.
- Stranger mocked my minimalist cell phone.
- I ran fast. Not fast enough.
- Dieting this week. Approach with caution.
- Never ever wear the Speedos again.
- You're humorless, so I'm laughing goodbye.
- In general, people should be less...?
- In general, people should be more...
- "It's fool proof." Yeah? Just wait.
- We can be better than this.
- Bird poop on newly washed car.