My Favorite Stories
- don't have the time for whackos.
By Alessandra_Rizzotti in Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak
- If we get caught I'm fired.
- Miss hot, sweaty, love induced sex.
- Twenty-one years gone, just like that.
- What the hell was I thinking?
- Squeezed my lemons. Planted the seeds.
My Stories
- My iMac ate my kid's homework.
- Seriously, what is better than sex?
- Sports. Music. Homework. Dances. Tests. Augh!!
- Love sports. Is sex a sport?
- Good person, just not for me.
- Married for neither love nor money.
- Miss caressing napes and other regions.
- Thinking about someone I've never met.
- My kids still need me. Phew.
- I really miss copping a feel.
- Hoping to get fired. Got promotion.
- Marriage ends. Next chapter. Now what.
- Teenager wants tattoo. I miss diapers.
- Haven't dated in 20 years. Wow.
- Therapy is more painful than marriage.
- In therapy. Should have just drank.
- Three teens. I'm totally winging it.
- Teens wanted money. I gave advice.
- Starting business. Pumped. Excited. Thrilled. Scared.
- Writing book. Writer's block. Writer's cramp.
- Very slow writer. Very fast procrastinator.
- The great thing about sex? Sex.
- Friendship to love to bitter enemies.
- I lusted, I loved, I lost
- Children are great. Best when sleeping.
- Celibate. Still think about sex. Lots.
- She's nutty. I'm allergic to nuts.
- Got milk? No, I'm lactose intolerant.
- "We tried," I lied. She cried.
- Went fishing. Caught snapper. Threw back.
- I overslept. She slept with everyone.
- Sang soul. Ate Sole. Saved soul.
- Loved her looks. Hated her brain.
- Sleeping on couch. Nobody to spoon.
- My letters were returned. Addressee unknown.
- I preferred oral; she was vegetarian.
- Found soul mate. Became cell mate.
- On honeymoon she announced, “I’m lesbian.â€
- Dated. Desired. Devoted. Deceived. Divorced. Died
- She said I wasn't the father.
- Her honey pot was never open.
- Hate and Love: both four-letter words.
- Sex was great; marriage was awful.
- Sex in backseat, divorce in court.
- She loved the idea of us.
- I said ILY. She said FU.
- The wrong woman had my children.
- Great sex followed by dreadful conversation.
- She watched TV. I read books.
- Honeymoon sex became a distant memory.
- She cheated, twice. I forgave, once.
- Wanted roast beef; married a ham.
- Sex annually. Tonight is the night.
- Mind over matter. Lust always wins.
- At alter. Thought no. Said yes.
- Dog gets more action than me.
- Never married my high school sweetheart.
- In my dreams, out of reach.
- Our lips touched, then she died.
- Met her kids, fell in love.
- Sleep alone. Every night. Gets lonely.
- Loved her sister. Settled for her.
- Change of plans. The condom broke.
- Loved her breasts, hated her breath.
- Four years, no sex, deserve medal.
- Chocolate is medicine for the mind.
- Ice cream, you scream, I pod
- Ate a peanut, peed a nut.
- Breast milk, chocolate milk, warm milk
- Liver. Fava beans. Hold the chianti.
- My life: Remove r from shirt.
- Corporate America sucked out my soul.
- Awake? Yes. Sex? Ok. Now? Sure.
- I slammed the door on his...
- Life's a scaffold, not a bridge.
- Family first. Friends second. Nascar third.
- Best part of sex? Sex. Duh.
- Jumped in lake; waiting for directions.
- Left wife. Kids sleeping. I'm crying.
- Played chess with god. He won.
- Heart in S.F., arm in Vietnam.
- Six words, no plot, good ending.
- Slipped. Paralyzed. Can't write. Just thinking.
- Mother-in-law. Cooking. Alcohol. Recipe for disaster.
- I'm blind. She's deaf. It works.
- I'm standard, she's automatic, we stalled.
- Won lottery, have cancer, dislike irony.
- I'm not cynical, just a non-optimist.
- Grandparents have wisdom, but nobody listens.
- Work busy. No time for life.
- Note to self: Have children soon.
- Walked in woods. Got poison ivy.
- Ran marathon, then had sleeping marathon.
- Married for love, wanted the money.
- Senior, needs money. Send tooth fairy.
- Fell in shower. Water's cold. Help.
- Life is good. Really. It is.
- Alone at night, comforted by dreams.
- Writing fun. Rewriting, not so much.
- The dog ate my flash memory.
- I'm happy. No, wait. I'm not.
- My sister still sings while showing.
- There is always time for fiction.
- Does anyone hug the tree huggers?
- At a meeting. I'm so bored.
- Apple juice, fire juice, prune juice.
- Baby teeth, buck teeth, no teeth.
- Mud is dirt with an attitude.
- G, U R A B. O!
- Call me man boobs, will ya?
- Poverty, hunger, genocide. iPod, BMW, Xbox.
- Chicken salad. Cat nip. Cow pie.
- There is no manual for parenting.
- Boys are stupid. Teenage boys, stupider.
- My teenager broke my heart. Damn.
- Want to have a catch, Dad?
- Pen meets paper; has baby words.
- You are the sperm that won.
- Eat chocolate. Drink coffee. Live life.
- Boss needs a vacation. Or sex.
- Life is good? Really? For whom?
- Starbucks dunks donuts, Peets creams krispy.
- College, broke. Marriage, broke. Divorced, broke.
- Pastors pray, politicians prey, people pay.
- First base to home. Baby. Benched.
- Missing cat. If found, please keep.
- Married for love, divorced for apathy.
- Dated. Married. Procreated. Fought. Divorced. Died.
- Married apparel heiress. Taken to cleaners.
- 78. 45. 33. 8-track. MP3. Next.
- Womb. Room. Dorm. Apartment. House. Coffin.
- Breasts are beautiful. Chicken breasts. Duh.
- Sex. Sleep. Sex. Sex. Pick two.
- 20's women, 30's career, 40's sleep
- Click. Web addictive. Click. No life.
- My book is still not finished.
- Scaling mountains. Climbing walls. Wicked blisters.
- Mr. Bear can use more stuffing.
- Call me fat again. Go on.
- You feeling lucky? Well are you?
- Give me the remote. Right now.
- Pee in cup. Water plants. Repeat.
- Post sex. Will talk. Sports only.
- When it rains, flies go where?
- Grandma knits. Grandpa drinks. Apartment stinks.
- Our lips meet. Ugh. Bad breath.
- Chicago fire. Cow blamed. Cat escapes.
- Driving Miss Daisy (Over The Cliff)
- My books, my life. Still unwritten.
- Cancer sucks. Fight cells, fight. Die.
- Push mommy. Auugh, it's cold. Waahhh!
- Records skip, records skip, records skip.
- Morning (afternoon) (evening) sex is good.
- See egg. Swim faster. I won!
- Drink. Drive Drunk. Die Young. Stupid.
- Are books better than sex? Hmmm...
- No raise, boss stinks, I'm trapped.
- Wrong career, dead end, start over.
