Ron Jeremy Lands in My Lap

We were seated by the door, so everyone who walked in walked right in front of us.

Sometime in the mid-'90s, my cousin Carlos, my friend Jimmy, and I went to watch Pauly Shore perform at the Comedy Store. He was going to be recording for a live comedy CD that would be released in the near future.

Jimmy claimed to know one of the producers of the show and said that the producers had placed him on the list to get in. When we arrived, we gave the door guy our names—and guess what happened? We weren't on the list. As we stood there wondering what to do, Gary Coleman walked by arm in arm with a beautiful long-legged blonde. The three of us were amazed at this, because he's short and she was, well gorgeous.

After we'd stood outside for about 15 minutes, the producer came by and recognized my friend Jimmy. He asked why we weren't inside, and Jimmy told him that we weren't on the list. The producer vouched for us, and we were in. We were seated by the door, so everyone who walked in walked right in front of us.

A lot of people walked by, but no one we recognized until Ron Jeremy, of adult-movie fame. There were two empty seats next to us, and showtime was approaching quickly. As luck would have it, these two seats were being held for Jeremy and his date. Just to the right of Jeremy's seats was a single step that led up to our section.

As Jeremy was making his way down the row toward his seats, the lights went dim and Pauly was about to go onstage. Well, Jeremy didn't see the step—it was dark in there—and so he stumbled, knocked over a table (full of drinks) just behind our row with his arm, and then fell right into my lap. Pauly made a few jokes about the fall after learning that Jeremy was all right. One of the things that still stands out in my mind was Gary Coleman's laugh while Pauly made a few jokes at Jeremy's expense.

There you have it—my brush with a celebrity. Not very glamorous, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.


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