Quack-Quack & Capt. Kirk

"I'm sorry, did you say 'duck' as in 'quack-quack?'" Shatner's voice bellowed. "Yes, 'duck' as in 'quack-quack,'" I bellowed back

When I first moved to L.A., about 10 years ago, I was quite broke and desperate to earn extra cash. I signed on with an agency that staffed "waitpersons" (<-- my effort to be PC) for movie-premiere parties.

Each party was themed to reflect the essence of the movie, and the costumes were always playful and fun. This time, for _Miss Congeniality,_ the costumes were those of beauty queens: the before and after. Much to my chagrin, I was chosen as a "before" girl--complete with spa smock, fake clay facial mask, and hair in curlers.

I swallowed my pride, and marched diligently around the enormous abandoned-warehouse-cum-venue-of-the-night, toting my tray of assorted appetizers, offering them to various guests both famous and famous hangers-on. To my amazement, I got to meet several celebrities, one of which was the star of the movie, Sandra Bullock herself.

She was charming and even more beautiful in person, and laughed hysterically when she saw my get-up. I wanted to engage her more in conversation, but I was new to the catering business and had heard horror stories about how an overzealous tray passer had lost their job for being too friendly to the celebs.

Regardless, she treated me like we had known each other since kindergarten, and I was at a loss for words. I was at a further loss for words when I spotted the original Captain James T. Kirk (aka William Shatner) at a nearby table surrounded by a throng of much younger women.

This was Captain Kirk from the original _Star Trek,_ a show that I had watched religiously since grade school!

Gathering my courage, I made my way to the table in smallish increments, hoping not to bring too much attention to myself and my embarrassing outfit.

The room was overwhelmingly loud with chatter and songs from the movie soundtrack. And as I offered my tray, Mr. Shatner himself was curious about one item in particular. "What is this?" he said, pointing to the mini-taquitos? "Duck taquitos," I replied proudly.

"I'm sorry, did you say _duck_ as in _quack-quack?"_ his voice bellowed. "Yes, _duck_ as in _quack-quack,"_ I bellowed back. With a smirk, he snatched up two of the delights and quickly popped one in his mouth.

Satisfied that he was satisfied, I hurried along to other tables, hoping my boss didn't notice me paying too much attention to any one celebrity in particular. As I made my tray-pass rounds, I eventually found myself in Mr. Shatner's area once again.

I was meandering around, hoping he would engage me yet again, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him waving his hand in the air, and it seemed it was directed at me. As I walked toward him, I saw him smiling a devious grin, and when I leaned down to hear him better, he whispered, "Hey quack-quack, can you freshen my drink?"


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