I Miss My Friend

I miss him telling me I was killing myself with cigarettes, but still meeting me when I had a break from the Great American Cookie Company, to keep me company on my cigarette breaks.

It's weird--I didn't know who Chris Crocker was until I saw his face on the news.

I dropped my drink when I saw his face.

He was my friend, one I hadn't seen in years. Didn't expect to see him yelling, "Leave Britney alone!" on the news. Hadn't seen him since mallrat boredom was given up for college and a new type of boredom.

It's weird to know that the guy who helped me hide from my stalking ex, and who used to explain a weird religion based on astrology and Courtney Love, was kinda famous.

It hurts sometimes, too. I sent him a message, and he didn't respond, but he responded to some kid to tell her that yes, it was him she'd seen at a mall.

We used to joke that we were kinda like siblings from separate parents because we got along so well. We're exactly a day apart in age. I was born on December 6, and he was born on December 7.

I miss the simplicity of our friendship. I miss the smoking table at the mall, near Belks. I miss him telling me I was killing myself with cigarettes, but still meeting me when I had a break from the Great American Cookie Company, to keep me company on my cigarette breaks.

I'm really glad to know that he's gained some small measure of fame; it was what he wanted. He wanted away from Brist-hell as much as I did, and we both achieved that, although in different ways.

I really really hope that he is happy. I want nothing more for him.

Sometimes I get bored and defend him on message boards, because it feels like the right thing to do. He helped me, and even though I know arguing on the Internet is stupid, it makes me feel like I'm still supporting him in some small way. I'm a little pathetic, I think, but that's OK. Everyone is, in their own way.

I think it's a little more pathetic that I'm showing my heart like this, and telling people that I miss someone I hadn't really thought about until that day, while watching TV.

I hope all the people who hate him because they've never met him get to understand that hating someone you don't know is silly. It's ridiculous. I also find his fans kinda ridiculous. They don't know him. They probably never will know him. They are just latching on because he is well known. It's weird.

Maybe it's just weird because I knew him. Because I know that when it comes to Joss Whedon, I can fangirl like no other. Maybe I'm a hypocrite. Maybe it doesn't matter.

I just want to say one more thing. Yes, he acts like that in real life, and no, he's not stupid. He is smarter than you would think, because honestly, do you think someone truly stupid could get their word out so well?

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