Terrified by Tammy Faye

These were no normal spider lashes.

I was looking at fat-girl clothes at Value City. I looked up and saw "Tammy Faye Bakker":http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tammy_Faye_Messner. I felt threatened by her spider lashes. These were no normal spider lashes—fucking tarantulas.

I looked at her, said, "Oh, my God," and ran away to tell my mom. I think she was offended. I am pretty sure she is dead now.