10 Responses

1. # Oct 25 07 1:18 am
   Adam Blackman says:
   

   Tightey whiteys over long johns, a backwards apron. I pointed to the S on my chest. “Supper Man,” the woman ringing up my six pack laughed. “That’s great.” Later, at the party, I pulled the spatula from my utility belt and a girl dressed like Tanya Harding tugged my curl. “Cute,” she said. But at three in the morning, when the masks came off, I remained in my underwear. Six hours later, getting out of the cab, I thought, so this is Chicago, as I scurried into my apartment—for breakfast.

2. # Oct 25 07 1:19 am
   Ryan Hagen says:
   

   For Halloween ‘06, I invented a character called Henry Nixonhands. It’s Henry Kissinger meets Edward Scissorhands — in both cases a twisted man can articulate his vision of the world only through instruments of creative destruction. I dressed up in a suit with some Kissinger-esque eyeglasses, and taped a Nixon mask to each hand. I got some good laughs, but mostly confused stares, and holding a beer bottle was a real challenge. But the satisfaction I felt inside was well worth it.

3. # Oct 25 07 1:20 am
   Bill Eville says:
   

   Back in the 90’s, when I considered myself a fag-hag dressed in men’s clothing—in other words, a straight guy, honest, who liked to run with a pack of gay men–I dressed up as Princess Diana for Halloween. This was around the time news was leaking out that Princess Di was getting a bit on the side. So, to round out her persona, I decided to do a costume switch at midnight. I entered the party in full regal form. A pink ball gown, white gloves (for the regal wave), high heels, and, of course, the coy blond bob. Then, at the witching hour, I switched to a tight red teddy (from Victoria Secret), and tossed the tiara into the dustbin. A Princess no more.

4. # Oct 25 07 1:20 am
   Lynn Harris says:
   

   Does my daughter’s first Purim costume count? Last Halloween, three days old, she went as a pea. (Green swaddle, sling—you get the idea. Cute, but not as funny as when my friend’s infant, wrapped in foil, was a baked potato.) I refuse to buy costumes, so for Purim, I just looked in Bess’s closet. She had an embroidered dress from Mexico; I had an eybrow pencil. Presto: Kahlo! Since the photo still slays me, we’re bringing back Frida for Halloween. Me, I’m going—again, and likely for many years to come—as a Park Slope Parent.

5. # Oct 25 07 1:23 am
   Rebecca Berfanger says:
   

   Halloween is my favorite holiday. Any excuse to be a kid and shop in trashy stores for an outfit for just one night. My costumes usually are a combination of trashy, feminine, and a colorful back story (couldn’t find the right skirt for “Moulin Rouge”-inspired cancan dancer in 2002, so one fin de siËcle French ho with blue feather boa and matching flapper girl headband was in order; 2003 and 2006: hoop earrings + bandanna + flowy skirt and top = gypsy). But in 1998, you could find me at “Rocky Horror” in Louisville, dressed as a hunchback: teased hair, “dirty” makeup, a shirt stuffed with pillows for the hump, and very mannish clothes. But I still got hit on—the guys at the Denny’s wanted to rub the hump for luck.

6. # Oct 25 07 1:23 am
   “Malrat” says:
   

   Two Halloweens ago I dressed up as Mr Orange (Tim Roth’s character from Resevoir Dogs). We went to this Art Gallery on Haight St., as they were having a party. I had on a black suit, and matching tie and what looked like a grievous bullet wound. 50% of my fellow revelers didn’t get it because they hadn’t seen the movie. Roughly 10% didn’t get it, because they had, and couldn’t figure out what I’d done with Mr. White, Mr. Pink et al. Mostly everyone, except these two Guys in Guantanamo Orange jumpsuits, who resented the fact that I’d dressed as “the villian” of the piece a.k.a the police informant, thought it cool. Happy Halloween.

7. # Oct 25 07 1:23 am
   Roger Daubach says:
   

   2004 and we’re being told that even though Bush never went to Vietnam, his military service was far more exemplary than that silver-star-winning liberal. To harness this energy, my company’s party theme was “politically incorrect.” I can describe my costume, but it’s much more fun to see. Everyone loved it except for that one slutty cat who said it was “so, so wrong.”

8. # Oct 26 07 10:03 pm
   Christiann says:
   

   I dressed up as a drag queen one year, in an over-the-top beehive wig, a sparkling slutty purple dress, and red and orange vinyl pumps with little beaded daisies on them. My face was gobbed with makeup and false eyelashes. Naysayers told me, “You can’t be a drag queen, you’re a girl,” but they don’t get drag queens or women at all.

9. # Oct 28 07 11:10 pm
   Mikel K Poet says:
   

   This outfit was concocted many years ago, when I was still drinking, and I was probably drunk at the time that I concocted it; but misery loves company, and I seem to recall that I talked at least one other drunk person into cutting holes for head and arms into trash bags and going to “the” party as “white trash.”

   The outfit cost us nothing; there was an abundance of bags under the kitchen counter, and it allowed us to carry on with our primary function of the evening: to keep drinking. I eventually quit drinking, and I eventually quit dressing up for Halloween, as an adult. Now my Halloween goal in life is to get my, now eighteen year old son, to quit trick or treating, which may be an impossibility since he has moved off to San Francisco to make art(escape his father’s tyrannical hand?!)

   When I think back on it, things could have been worse, I could have taken my pants off and showed up at the party in my underwear as a flasher. I spent many a night in the drunk tank,
   for stupid blacked out things on my way to sobriety, but never did I get locked up on Halloween, and never did I get locked up for a charge as serious as indecent exposure.

   Maybe I could have gotten a song out of it like that drunk singer in the Pogues did about being locked up on Christmas, but I doubt it. I would have just got a fine, some community service time, and probation. The judge would have been quick to see that I was a drunk, not a pervert.

   I’m glad that I never got into crack on Halloween or on any other holiday or day of the year.
   I don’t think anyone would let a person claiming to be dressed up as a crack head into their
   holiday gathering. We all know what a sick, evil drug that is.

   The bang on your door, say “trick or treat,” and the next thing you know everything you own is gone.

   Bah. Humbug.
   I can’t wait to climb down the Chimney,
   but let’s not forget about Thanksgiving,
   now shall we?

   Crack dealers are so smooth
   By Mikel K

   They act like they are your
   friend,
   why they’ll even bring the rock
   to your door.

   Support my poetry habit: check out my blog at http://www.myspace.com/mikelkpoet.
   Thanks, and, as my kids say, “peace.”

10. # Oct 30 07 4:33 pm
    roger daubach says:
    

    i must respectfully disagree. a person dressed as a crackhead would be welcomed into my party the same as someone dressed as a slutty nurse, a slutty firewoman, a slutty cop, a slutty astronaut, or a slutty slut. i’d also welcome in anyone dressed as a junkie, a coke head, a glue sniffer, a butt sniffer, a meth smoker, a vaudeville dancer.

    the moment you say “no!” to the crackhead is the moment you turn your back on america.

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