Sometimes I wonder — if I were a celebrity, would women like me? The answer, of course, is probably, but I can’t sing, dance, act or play any sports worth a damn, so I’m kind of screwed. But maybe, I think to myself (OK, I don’t really actually think this, but bear with me, the video intros are a lot more fun this way) what if I just put up videos on YouTube? Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I put up funny videos that got hundreds of thousands of views? Would women like me then?

Yeah, turns out the answer is still no. Sigh.