And The Winner of the Six-Word Memoir Contest Is…
Thursday, January 4th, 2007
You’re a dark, funny and surprising bunch. We asked you all to tell your life stories in six words, and you blew us away with your responses—more than 5,000 so far, and they’re still pouring in. While story by story your six-word summations were alternately heartbreaking and hilarious, they were even more moving and powerful when taken in huge helpings—as we discovered when we were poring over the submissions, sometimes hundreds at a time.
To determine the winner, contest co-pilot Rachel Fershleiser and I narrowed the list down to our favorite 500, then to a painstaking 25. Then we asked a dozen or so SMITH contributing editors to choose their top three. Finally, we tallied. To be eligible to win the iPod, you also had to sign up to receive a memoir a day on your phone via Twitter (which was free and fun, as lots of you found out).
Maybe it’s the mood this country’s in, but many of your stories revealed self-doubt, resignation or a desire to explain yourself. At the same time, most of you—in one way or another—appeared to just want to tell it like it is. And what “it is” is your world in six words, making for life stories in miniature that we’ve been honored to receive. We hope they’ll continue to find their way from you to us as we put together a book of six-word memoirs.
Until then, the next tall mocha soy latte is on Abigail Moorhouse, the caffeinated owner of a new iPod and winner of SMITH Magazine and Twitter’s first annual Six-Word Memoir Contest.
Her story: “Barrister, barista, what’s the diff, Mom?”
After the jump, more of your many, many amazing six-word memoirs.
Never really finished anything, except cake. —C. Perkins
Not quite what I was planning… —S. Grimes
Jew-born. Yeshiva-educated. Date goyim. -A. Ellin
Savior complex makes for many disappointments. —A. Schubach
Found true love, married someone else. -B. Stromberg
Mistakenly kills kitten. Fears anything delicate. —S. Henderson
Bad brakes discovered at high speed. —J. Baumeister
After Harvard, had baby with crackhead. —R. Templeton
Caring for parents. Life is circular. —T. McGrath
Nerdy girl smutmonger. Now, baby fever. —R.K. Bussel
Scarred by 911; helped by penguins. —A. Blackburn
Ex-wife and contractor now have house. —D. Peck
Nose broken, beauty queen changes profession. —D. Rubin
Being a monk stunk. Better gay. —B. Redman
School geek married a luscious cheerleader. —C. Clukey
Married for money. Divorced for love. —R. Abraham
Wealthy woman escapes with handsome mailman. —A. Shewan
One tooth, one cavity, life’s cruel. —J. Bettencourt
Life behind a microphone gets lonely. —C. Kash
Mormon economist marries feminist. World’s collide. —M. McBride
I still make coffee for two. —Z. Nelson
Read Smith, memoirs addictive, send therapist!
Get your fix: Book arrives 2008!
Play, study, dream; pray, work, despair.
What is wrong with seven words? Damn!
Born … wait … wait … wait … for death.
I am always half a person
pain you brought, overcome with love.
Above ground,working my way under!
I want to touch the world!
wanted to fly, learning to walk
Often negative, eternally surprised and delighted.
I came. I saw. I blundered.
Oh sh^t, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, F*CK!!!
Africa. Bottomless pit. Help me out.
Life is short. So’s this story.
Live for today. All day. Everyday.
Someonestolemyspacebar. So that’s one word, bigdeal.
I’m a man of few words.
Everywhere we go we drink beer!
We drink to make others interesting.
Found Smithmag website. Submit many entries.
Essay on air inside pingpong balls.
So Doc, how long. The End.
Ummmmm, Ehhrrrrrrrrrrr, I have writer’s block.
Fell off beaten track… enjoyed it!
Without mistakes, life wouldn’t be fun.
Waited for years, now too old.
Football, eat, sleep: Repeat step one.
The world loved me, I din’t
her pain, my pain, their pain
married sexy women, she was not
It is starting to make sense
I’ll do this tomorrow. I think.
Bachelor boy. Blinked. Married with twins.
Shaded past sleeps into placid present
Born,Raised,Fought,Surrived,Living,Waiting
my only true love i married
he was my neightbor we knew each other growing up we have been married in june will be 51 years we will be together for the rest of our lives
kids and dogs keep me young
Been there done that, had fun!
Cross my heart, hope to die!
Blah, Blah, Blah, Ginger, Blah, Blah.
I’m a sport, play with me.
I don’t think, therefore I know.
Wished I could’ve done it longer.
Born; Clueless; Know-it-all; Epiphany; Forgot-it-all; Dead!
Everything was a joke, until now.
Hey, you all should submit your six-worder here:
smithmag.net/sixwords
thanks,
Larry
Teacher, laugher, pleasure-seeker, sinner, saint, saved!
Attention. Be prepared. Early dismissal, tomorrow.
Chasing youth, chasing youths: now chaste
I read them all . . .where’s yours?
there she is, miss knowitall, again…..
I’m not sorry to disappoint you.
I NEED more then six words
post-traumatic stress disorder wreaks havoc
My life is one perpetual Monday.
wondering what to do when grownup
Sing, dance, sweetie, kitty - that’s plenty
Married. Two kids, two dogs. Happy.
OR
Married. Two kids, two dogs. Boring.
Finally, at a loss for words.
Never been in love. Hate it.
Fears dying but fears living more.
Born too small, grew too little.
The third time IS a charm!
Been through it all…and lived!
Country girl, city girl, Happy Woman!
Tomorrow is another day…is it?
Get it while the gettin’s good.
Jamaica. Ithaca. Paris. Washington. What next?
My fiance is better than yours.
Can I get a do over?
Road less traveled was worth it.
me, you, may we be forgiven.
God’s good, me, not so much
Doing dishes gives time for confession.
Life’s a dream, we’re the sleepers.
Life’s a sleep, we’re the dreamers.
American first, Conservative second, Liberal NEVER .
This too shall pass by me
Greatest ’shot in the arm’-encouragement!
Most powerful force in life-LOVE
Singer, writer, artist. Still not famous.
There’s gotta be something more………
um…. whats there to say?
white trash, big life, ivory tower
smallest of cells did me in
birds don’t sing when they’re trapped
found the answer lost the question…
lost me way found my dream…
never stop moving to look back…
six words cant do me justice…
in nine months no longer alone…
Two boys. Both teenagers. Gotta run.
older i get younger old is
Gonna write my memoir one day.
This could not happen to me.
Teaching fifty years. Still learning much.
Still scared of girls, fixing that.
Nothing a little alcohol won’t help.
No living. Waiting, waiting, always. Always
Pulitzer Prize, six words? No way!
My attention deficit disorder took over
I’ve never conformed to anything.
Fat - then thin. Funny - then sad.
No kids, no dogs, no committments.
Been loved, been hated. Been ME!
Forget global warming, polar bears swim.
Leading cause of death is birth.
Living in Hope. Dying to live.
Do it right. Do it now.
Love at first sight? Oh yes!
Laughter, tears, hope - Life’s all three.
Passion is amazing, but friendship sustains.
Raced to adulthood, resisting growing up
Second husband not crazy, way better
Ex-suburban housewife, cavorting with non-conformists
Dissecting insecurities without therapy safety net
Speaks before thinks, rethinks words spoken
Six word limit, begs repeat entries
Procrastinated. Will finish this later …
Day to day displaces my dreams.
Have pen. Will work for food.
Beware the ever wielding scythe unseen
Lonely is the road less traveled.
Mid-life crisis thinned me… Fat’s back!
I miss my hearing (and Led Zeppelin).
Dad’s tire store bores forest ranger
Forgot what I was gonna say
Finally…made up for lost time.
Six words Isn’t enough for me.
Gay, and dead to my family.
Shuffling iPod. Keeping life in order.
I’m the princess in the tower,
Always waited for my Prince Charming,
Then I decided to save myself,
They tried to keep me safe,
The King and Queen of mine,
Sorry, I don’t want to survive,
I finally want to truly LIVE!
I want someone to see me!
I truly want life to be fair!
Don’t worry Santa, I’ll always believe…
Tiffany killed me with her words.
Explore, create, love, dream, experience, thrive.
one never knows, until they try!
D.O.B over in a dash D.O.D
Eeyore or Tigger, what’s your choice!
shot down, dusted off, let’s go!
Fear of abandonment. Then you left.
Smiling down on people holding hands
Overworked and Underlaid. The Student Life?
Here to help find your way
Vibrator equals industrial fan. Prefer breeze.
dead babies, live babies, what else?
Older I get, better I was.
time stood still… for a second!
Ate! Fat! Dieted! Thin! Ate! Fatter!
Princess finds Prince. Lives happily everafter.
Jesus would have driven a Porsche
Where did this gut come from?